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Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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My boss and two co-workers worked together 20 years and constantly

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My boss and two co-workers worked together 20 years and constantly judge and talk about me behind my back?
It is kind of nerve racking. The other two co-workers are constantly talking about me to my boss behind my back and judging and criticizing my every word and move. They talk about me like they are a group of friends.
I am excelling and doing a great job. This situation is very annoying.
For example- I am a contractor and they wanted to hire me full time. There are other contractors I talk to in a friendly manner. When one of my co-workers found out I was being hired full time, I told him to keep it a secret til it was finalized because I didn't want to make the other contractors mad. He said they are your friends they should be happy for you. I said they aren't my friends - meaning - yes, they are my friends - but they will still be disappointed that THEY were not hired so let's wait til it is finalized to mention anything. I was later talking to one of my 'friends' from a different group and she started telling me about her husband. They ran and told the boss I was talking to another co-worker about her husband and how I said she wasn't 'my friend'.
This is soo annoying.
I guess I should just NOT talk to them at all.
What do you think of this situation? Is it normal or not? Should I just ignore it and get a thick skin and do my job?

Hi Leslie and thanks for writing. Yes I agree with you. Your co workers are annoying and petty. Sadly I hear many stories like yours every day. Here is the the thing, you are there to work and even though we all would prefer to get along with our colleagues and share personal information, a joke or two and make the workplace a friendly place to be....well it does not sound as if this will happen in your workplace any time soon. So, you go into work and be polite and cordial and say good morning and good night and not a thing more. I know. It is not pleasant and it is not fun, but just be brief, polite and yes ignore them. The talking about you behind your back is a bit too sophomorish to address. Perhaps they have no notion of professional behavior, or are bored, or threatened by your presence. Whatever the cause of their bad behavior it is not your problem. Keep up the good work and keep excelling at what you do. Some of my most esteemed colleagues follow the same instructions I have given you above. They are polite and professional and never share personal information, never get involved in office politics and ignore the very type of nonsense your co workers engage in. If it becomes unbearable either consult your HR director (if you have one where you work) or start looking for another job. Most of us have been in your situation one time or another and I know how lousy it feels, but if you really wish to keep this job yes.....grow a thick skin, ignore the petty behaviors and do your job. Finally I love dogs too and they never behave anywhere nearly as badly as your co workers do. Let me know if I can help you further with this Leslie and warm wishes to you. Cathy

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