Thank you so much for your advice. I will digest your comments carefully and, if you would like, I will let you know how I get on, as I have decided I will speak to my son. I'll find a quiet time to do this.
Thank you again.
Dear XXXXX, I'm afraid my approach to my son and his wife did not go well at all. I decided to speak to them together, as I didn't want either one of them to think I was attempting to cause a rift between them. My daughter-in-law became extremely defensive and I sensed almost that she had planned what she would say. Her response was that if I cared so much about a photo, I should have organised it the same way my ex-husband's wife and her mother did. As I simply only wanted to convey my hurt to them, I just agreed that I was at fault. I left feeling completely shell-shocked & just so unsure of what to do now, Karin.
Thank you again for your advice. I definitely will not raise the subject again and I hope that in time, we'll be able to re-establish a good relationship & I will feel better. At present, I feel completely gutted.
I think what this has highlighted to me though, that there may be some underlying resentment of me by my daughter-in-law and probably her mother too. She has always been the type of girl who finds it very difficult to come to any sort of decision - even to buying clothes, for example. I have always put this down to her mother's controlling influence over her.
Going back to when my grand-son was born 17 months ago, her mother took complete control in the hospital, which led my son to crying on my shoulder, saying that he was so upset at being unable to spend time alone with his wife and son, due to his mother-in-law, her other daughter and her 14 year old grand-daughter all being at the hospital every minute of the day. A nurse finally (and curtly) told my daughter-in-law to tell her mother that this must stop. Needless to say, my d-i-l found it very difficult to tell her mother this & it caused quite a problem for my son for quite some time.
Anyway, Karin, thank you for everything. I am actually going to seek counselling through my workplace, as I really now feel there are issues with my daughter-in-law and her family that are now affecting me and I want to be able to deal with this the best way I can.
I live alone, but still work 3 days a week, which I love. I am a positive person generally and I'm sure I'll manage to get through this, but it has all taken me aback completely.