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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Ive been in a relationship for around a year now. This is

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I've been in a relationship for around a year now. This is the second serious relationship I've been in.

The first one didn't end very well and I got my heart broken, as happens.

Six months later I started going out with my current boyfriend. I'd known him for years, and I always knew he was interested but I something always held me back from making a move. I decided to go for it and it developed into a lovely relationship. We're on the same wavelength, we want the same things in life and he loves me to pieces. He would do anything for me and he is so nice. Our personalities are a great match and I really like the way we manage to resolve issues. I think he is really good for me.

But lately I've been having doubts about my feelings towards him. I feel like I don't love him as passionately as he loves me. I don't want to feel that way at all, I simply can't help it. I feel like I need space. I want to get over this. I want to love him with all my heart. He deserves it, and I deserve to be in a relationship like t his.

What can I do?
Hi,

I think your relationship sounds wonderful and I am so sorry about what you are going through. You may know he is good in your mind and love him for that, but not feel emotionally connected. However, I do not think this is the case I believe that you truly love him and want to be with him. I think what happened here is what tends to happen to many individuals. During the "honeymoon" phase everyone is happy and excited since it is new. Then after that things can tend to become "routine". This has nothing to do with your feelings for him and can happen in any relationship that you are in. The important thing is to realize that and work through it as you want to do. It is good that he is understanding to this and willing to work it out. This shows his love and care for you. The way to help deal with this is you realizing within yourself that every relationship changes. We may not feel that feeling of butterflies in our stomachs after a year, but this does not mean that we do not have any feelings left. Feelings change throughout the relationship. After the "honeymoon" phase I believe comes this patch of the relationship and if the two people get through this phase in the relationship then it can blossom to a much more deep satisfying connection more than ever. If you know that you do want to be with him then I would not let this feeling of being bored stop you. Try to remember what brought the two of you together and focus on that. If you feel it is getting too much "routine" then try taking a step out of the routine to keep things different. Rememering that this can happen in any relationship can keep you knowing that it has nothing to do with the relationship being "bad". Continue to communicate a lot as well as being romantic with new and fresh ideas. All of this will take the relationship to a new level and bring you both even closer.

I wish you all the best and please let me know if I can be of further help.
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