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Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience:  with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
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hello, Ive been having problems with my boyfriend we brake

Resolved Question:

hello, I've been having problems with my boyfriend we brake up and then we get back to gether. I'm just tired of it. The main reason why we argue is always about my family not likeing him, and he always talking bad about them to me I feel like i'm always in the middle. I have said mean things to him, but he always tarts it. help
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there, welcome to Just Answer. I will try and help you with your question.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having troubles with both your boyfriend and your family. I'm uncertain what his reasons are for him not to be liked by your parents; are there reasons why they don't like him?

He may be defensive if he feels you're not supporting him nor defending him and therefore he takes it out on you (I'm not saying this is acceptable behavior but could be a reason for his anger.

Some strategies or ways to think about this might be to express to your ex boyfriend your position within all of this, express that you feel very much in the middle of them both and that the situation is unfair to you too. If the both of you were really keen to make a go of things then, you would need to explain to your ex that he is going to have to stop attacking you (he's misplacing his anger onto you as he can't take it out on your parents).

If you can get him to try and if you want to try one last time to make a go of your relationship then you would need to express to him that you will not continue to take abuse from him and that you both need to work together and stand strong together. If he's not interested in this any longer, then perhaps it really is time to let go and call it a day. If you feel you both want to try and give it another go, work together - form some communication and try not to let the parents feelings get in the way. If you and he are not interested or can't do this, you would need to re-evaluate your situation and decide whether its worth your stress and tears. Furthermore, your parents may need to be told in an assertive way, that they need to stop voicing their feelings and thoughts and leave you both to at least try and make things work.

Please accept my answer if my response has been helpful, however please don't hesitate to come back to me if you need any further clarification. If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further.

Good luck and my best wishes to you.
Karin


Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
Karin Samms and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,
Just touching base with you and wondering how you got on with my response. How have things been going with your parents and your (ex)boyfriend? Did you make any changes or are you reflecting on things?
I do hope all is well with you; you know where I am if you need further assistance or support, just put "Hi Karin.." at the start of any new questions and I will do my best to help you :)
Take care, Karin
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


hi karin, everything is better, I am doing fine thank you for asking. My parents and I are ok and I'm back with my fiance now. He and I are working out on our relationship.


 

Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I just thank you for giving me the advice


 

Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
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Karin Samms
Karin Samms
Counselor
299 Satisfied Customers
with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues