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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1380
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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This is for Dr. Paige....Hello, I have been out on three dates

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This is for Dr. Paige....Hello, and Happy New Year! I have been out on three dates with the lady I told you about, everything is going well with, but i have a new addition to add to the equation: I have made friends with one of Cindy's exes..we talk and have compared notes about her and the way she treated us both. Cindy has been trying to call me, three times in past couple days..I sent her a txt msg asking if she was trying to call that I was busy at work..she sent txt msg back saying yes. I did not respond, so next morning I received a txt msg from her saying :"I forgive you, and I love you and I just want you to be happy". She forgives ME?? For caring and wanting to know that she was ok? And of course, for contacting her friend...please,,,,,,Now, it is obvious that she is trying to pull me back into her little orbit, but I told the other guy that I made friend's with about it and he is afraid I will let her suck me back in. I do still care about her but do not want to go back to the same old lies and game playing. She is pulling on my heart strings, I still love her but another friend said, don't contact her, she is crazy...I am confused on what to do because if I thought she has changed and is ready for a normal, good relationship with me, I would be willing to give it a try again with her. I have had a few, you included, that said they think she is Bi-polar and probably borderline personality. I have had less stress without her around, but I can't help but still have feelings and wonder if it would be worth giving it a try once more. I remember you telling me that no contact for awhile would be best. This is the first contact since Sept. 29 when we had the disagreement about my calling a friend of hers to check on her and her getting upset over. I really did not expect her to ever contact me again. My feelings for her are still there, but very shy about going back. I don't know if I should open communication back up with her and what to say if I do. Help!

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
Hello. Happy New Year! I would suggest letting her go! You already know what is going to happen with her. She is pulling you back in because that is her game. If things are going well with this new woman, keep looking forward, not back ! I would suggest cutting the contact with her until you are well on your way to not having any feelings for her at all. Think about what would happen if you gave it another go. You would lose your new girl, you would take a few steps back that took you awhile to get past. You would get sucked back into her personality issues, you would be even more pissed at yourself for doing it and all of this time would be wasted on another lesson.
IF you are aware of all of these things and you still want to go for it, then by all means, follow your heart, but listening to your head is probably the better way to go here. That's just my opinion :)
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1380
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Paige and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I know you are right, I had to hear it from a pro... ;) Did I mention that the lady I am now dating knows Cindy, and their friendship ended because of Cindy's personality issues? She is aware that Cindy has contacted me again and we both know that we would neither feel comfortable seeing each other if I go back to Cindy. Likewise if she starts her friendship back with her. Cindy is not even aware yet that she helped bring us together. :) She does not know that we have been seeing each other. We both are "healthy" in that we both realize the stupid games she plays, whether it be friendship or dating. The other one who is Cindy's ex is also worried that I will cave, and I admit, right before I wrote you last night I almost did. I feel like you saved me from making what probably would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Thank you

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Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I haven't caved..yet. Lol The new lady and I have been on four dates now and I have noticed that she has been finding excuses to not see me. I finally kept asking questions and pushed her buttons. When I try to ask her out almost a week in advance she always has something else already planned. I finally asked her to tell me what was it that was making her not want to see me. She replied that she is not wanting to date right now, it is not comfortable to her and said it has nothing to do with me.. I asked her if it was because of this and that..(trying to analyze it in my mind)..she finally sent me a message that this type of conversation is a big reason that she is not interested. Said she does not owe anyone an explanation and if I keep pushing it the chance of a friendship will be out as well....Ouch. How should I reply to that? Should I leave her alone and say nothing?

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

At least I finally got her to tell me what the problem is..:) She is very independent and I am wondering if she will ever want to date me again. She did tell me that there is someone who she used to date that has recently broke up with someone and said she still loves 'em and she implied that they may see each other again but that she did not think it would lead to a relationship. So, I can't help but wonder if she is starting to see them again. I know, there I go analyzing again,,geez..It is driving me bananas not knowing what is really going on with her and asking her anything is driving her bananas..If things don't work out with her I just might contact Cindy again.

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
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