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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My ex boyfriend started seeing a new woman exactly 2 years

Customer Question

My ex boyfriend started seeing a new woman exactly 2 years to the day he met me, online like me and head over heels in love in less than 3 months like he was with me. he and i remain friends but i think he is moving way too fast-he already wants to get married/engaged-she is only the second woman he has dated since his divorce (married 30 years) and really didnt date much in high school. They are different races and different religions and i dont want my friend to get hurt or conned. Any advice?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 4 years ago.

jenhelant :

Hi, I underatand your concerns.

jenhelant :

Please allow me a few moments to prepare an answer for you.

jenhelant :

I think it would be nice to talk with him about it your concerns as a friend. Try not to be eemanding or negative since he could just confuse that with you being jealous. Rather explain to him why you are worried. Let him know that you do hope things work out for both of them, but you can see things a little differently since you are on the outside looking in and hope he can take a step back to analyze things in order to make the right decisions. Talking from your heart is the best way to go here

jenhelant :

since that is how he will feel your sincerity. Please let me know when you are back online ifI can be of further help to you.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I tried to talk with him but i have gotten no where--the girlfirend is mad and now i have been forbidden to contact him. She got mad when i tried to send her a freindly email. The whole thing has gone ballistic--i never said anything bad about either one of them and offered to be her friend as well but now i guess they feel i am a threat. He has not cut off email or vm to me but i cant text or call him on his cell, to pelase her.I had emailed him but have gotten no response. She is open to anyone but me being friends with him.
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 4 years ago.
I am sorry this has happened, but she is probably jealous of you because you are his ex. This is common especially if the two of you have remained friends. She wants to be #1 in his life and doesn't want you involved. This could be also why she doesn't even want to be your friend. This happens a lot with friends when they get involved in a relationship especially when it is a friend who was an ex. I understand this hurts, but I bet it is not personal at all. You would need to respect whatever he says because if not then he may cut off all contact completely.

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