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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I will try to explain this the best I can. I met a guy over

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I will try to explain this the best I can. I met a guy over a year ago and we hit it off immediately. Although he was involved with another women that he has a kid with we remained friends. About Thanksgiving I got an email from him saying that they had split and he would like to see me. We hit it off immediately and spent a lot of time together for a week or two. He told me how much he cared but he was going thru a really rough time right now (he didnt want the split up) but if I stuck beside him he would make sure he made it worth my while once everything got straightened out. Well a couple days later he decided that he was not being fair to me and we just needed to be friends. He went from calling and seeing everyday to a call a couple times a week. Well right before Christmas I could tell he was drifting away more so I asked him if he was made at me and he told me he couldnt do drama and has not spoke to me since. I am devistated!! I have tried contacting him but he will not answer. I do know that he has finally moved out and they are not back together but have no clue what I did. I do admit I got a little clingy but it is because I was knew he was going through a lot and I didnt want him to think he was alone and had no one. I adore him and always have but I have no clue what to do at this point. Is it to late for us to have anything?
He will not answer my text or anything all of a sudden and have no clue what to do. I dont want him out of my life but dont understand what I have done so wrong that he will not talk to me now at all.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I am so sorry for your current predicament. He jumped too quickly from a serous relationship (they have a child together) to having an affair with you.

His words of commitment were more talk than reality. Perhpas he has gotten back together with this woman, or has made an pact with her to work out their differences.

It is reasonable that he would want to because of their shared child. She will be in his life as long as the child is a minor.

He certaily knows that you are out there. If he wants to get back to you, he will.

It seems that he used you when he was needy and then dropped you when he wasn't.

He does not have the best character or behavior or manners. I'm sure you know that.

If he doesn't get back to you, then you will just have to move on with your life.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Remember, there are others out there, ones who have less complicated attachments and are more faithful and consistent friends. I wish you the best outcome.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you! I know they are not back together but I do think he would take her back if she asked. He says he doesnt love her but will do anything for the kid. I just dont understand why he cant just send me a simple email or something. I might have came on to strong but it was all in good intentions. I know it has to be hard he is 38 and moved back to his parents. I just wished I knew if it was something I did or someone else or what.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Robin,

It is not you. You hooked up with a man that is less than open and honest. He says he doesn't love this woman but on the other hand he will spend the next many years with her if she lets him back.

You have been badly treated by him; he has not treated you decently or openly, but rather in a cowardly, unmanly manner.

You must stop blaming yourself.

You do not deserve to be treated this way and you must not let yourself, the victim, become the perpetrator. You did too much for him and he let you down, time and time again.

You will look back at this poor man of 38 who has moved back with his parents, and you will feel fortunate that you did not get stuck in this relationship. You deserve much better treatment.

God bless you.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7661
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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