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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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my significant other and i have been dating for 4 months now.

Customer Question

my significant other and i have been dating for 4 months now. when i asked her if she wanted to be exclusive with a boyfriend & Girlfriend title she said she dosen't like titles.

I asked her if it was because she couldn't commit to a relationship she said yes, but she wants to date me and be with me. and she even dropped the I love you word??? what should i do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

There could be many reasons why your girlfriend doesn't want to commit right now. She is either not ready, fearful of being in a committed relationship or she is not invested in your relationship.

If she has told you that she loves you, then that is a step in the right direction. If she has deep feelings for you, then most likely she is either fearful of being in a relationship or she is just not ready yet. She may have been hurt in the past or she wants to take things slowly and be sure this is the right relationship for her. Saying that she loves you is no light thing, so it is probably just a matter of time before she agrees to be with you exclusively.

You can talk with her and ask her more about her feelings. She may not share, but letting her know how you feel can help get her thinking about a more serious relationship. And when she feels ready, she will know that you are already there. That makes it easier for her to commit.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Kate,


 


thank you for your advice. I just had another question though, and this is in regards XXXXX XXXXX sitting my girlfriend down and talking with her about my feelings and hers.


 


i attempted to do this today, and she stated that it really annoys her when we constantly keep going over the same thing. which i can agree in some aspects. but it almost seems like either she is still evaluating our relationship or she just is tired of talking about it.


 


Jonathan

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
You're welcome!

You may want to let it go then. If she won't talk about it anymore without feeling annoyed, then it may just be counterproductive to bring it up. But keep in mind, you are the other half of the relationship. So if you want to set a time limit to how long you are willing to wait for her to decide, that is ok to do as long as it is reasonable. For example, if you feel that by summer you should be taking your relationship to the next level, then bring it up again at that time. If she still gives you the same response, you may want to reevaluate her ability to be in a relationship at all right now.

Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much, Jonathan! I appreciate the positive rating and bonus. It was nice talking with you. Take care.

My best to you,

Kate

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