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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My boyfriend always has to go. He always stays on the safe

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My boyfriend always has to go. He always stays on the safe side and he doesn't know how to console me or when I'm upset he doesn't try to make it up to me, he just accepts it. What should I do?
SOunds like he can't handle dealing with emotions. This is not a good sign because that means he won't be able to handle his own emotions. He would rather avoid then deal with the emotions and issues. I can't tell you what to do but I see it as a bad sign of emotional immaturity.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

That seems accurate but, I wanted some suggestions on how to... fix it or what to ask him or say to him.

You can point out your observations and frustrations to him. See how he responds. My guess is he will down play it and continue as he has been doing. Maybe not though.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

The whole reason I finally deemed this behavior unacceptable was because, last night, he stayed over we had an incredible night. I fell asleep and woke up ,to him leaving saying he had to go get something at his house and he would be back. Well he got back and got beside me because I had fallen asleep again and I saw that his jacket was still on I said you should take off your jacket then he told me he had to go in 30 minutes. I felt totally abandoned so I moved away from him and he just lay there. Then after a little while he got up and started putting his boots on and he came back over to me and asked for a kiss before he left. Of course I didn't because I was mad and sad. Then after he saw I didn't want to he just left. I wanted him to say please, or I'm sorry I have to leave, I'll make it up to you another time. But he didn't. And I just felt that he didn't care for me enough to want to do something about it.

Not sure what to make of that. I think it needs to be addressed with him. Time to start telling him how you feel. This is the only way to possibly reconcile the miscommunication. All you can do is tell him how you feel and then gauge his response. But be direct and honest.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for the advice.

you are welcome and good luck.

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