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Ask Jen Helant Your Own Question

Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1363
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hello Its a bit weird question to ask. I like this girl alot.

Customer Question

Its a bit weird question to ask. I like this girl alot. she was in my office and textd each other alot. we have even met thrice and all the times she asked to meet by saying she wanna talk about her problems. One time we went to see movie as well. But last year she got married and so am i. But she quit job in april 2012 and I did'nt talked to her may be casual text. But most of the time she send me those texts. So in November 2012 we were talking on phone about our days and she asked me for my facebook account and added me. Strangley i dont see any of her friend on her list not including her husband. But, I have notice since november onwards she start putting more often sad quotes photos and status. i wished her birthday ( i was the first one to wish her at 12 am) she got so happy and in reply to my text she thanks alot and send me two photos of mine from my office while i was working. she took thoe picture from her phone without letting any knw or see. some day we talk alot next day nothing. sometime it felt like she is behaving unpredictably. So, what is she doing. does she likes me and what is she upto. Remeber when i asked her to meet , she said she is busy at the moment but since we both goes to same health club ( she is not going at the moment) and we will meet there. also she mentioned by her self the she wanna go out with me and wanted to have good time. So help me with this issue what should i do and how should i behave. Why she is playing like hot and cold? is she really into me? Are those quotes on facebook for me?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.

It is difficult to say what she is doing. Since she is married this can be causing her strange behaviors. It seems she may be going through something for her to be sad. It is difficult to say why she is feeling sad or if it was meant to you. However, you do seem to be an important part of her life since she talked to you about problems and your her only contact on facebook. You make her happy and she could very well like you. She may be difficult and seem unpredictable since you both are married. I don't know what each of you want, but it may be best to talk more directly about it depending what you want with it. If you just want to be an acquaintance then I would leave it as is, but if you would like more it would be best to communicate about this with her.

I wish you well and please let me know if I can be of further help.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But whenever I said directly or indirectly that i love, most of the time she is quite. Do you think clicking my picture without getting anyone notice and asking me meet one day doesnt make any sense. Yesterday,i asked her if something id wrong and she saif nothing.
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
It is difficult to say what she is feeling. Could be various things. However, she could have feelings for you that she is trying to fight and that is why she gives you all these mixed signals.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So what should, I do and how to tackle this. I am really interested in her. Need some suggestion.
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
First I would think about what it is you want since you both are married. Then from there I would talk with her. Communication is the best thing that you can do. Since she seems sad being there for her is important and checking in to see if she is okay. Let her know what it is you want and see if that is what she too is wanting so the both of you can be on the same page. Listen to her needs and see how you can help. It is the little things that mean a lot and actions that show our true feelings.

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