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jadt65
jadt65, Multisystemic Therapy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 119
Experience:  Provided relationship counseling for more than 20 years for people in every stage of life.
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hello doc....names Allen and Im screwed up a bit..been in

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hello doc....names Allen and I'm screwed up a bit..been in a few relationships before, but now i'm in a no win situation....thinkin it's destiny...lol...this story begins with a young beautiful girl, bit of a rebel, who had a dream to meet some wonderful man and have some kids...she found one, had a kid, and then realized he was an abuser....she finally found the courage and got outta the frying pan...then stepped into the fire...her father put her on curfew for the next 15 years and her only puopose in life was to provide and protect her child...she watched her two younger sisters live her dream, and i'm thinkin if I were in her shoes i'd idolize them also, and believe they could do no wrong. When I finally met her, sixteen years too late, i'm thinkin, she was already programmed with fears,distrust, and overprotection. through a ten year relationship, I watched her go through some terrifying ordeals when her son, who seems to have been doubled in fears, with hardly any social skills outside the immediate family, got into drugs and tried to fit in..his mother wanted to solve all his problems and the sisters held her hand and prettied things up in life..he died at 27 after an heartbroken, and very short affair...after his death the family still just prettied and never faced the problemt...I ask her to marry and live with me...she can't leave..I start thinkin she has a post dramatc stress disorder, and the only thing i can do for her is send her back to the only people she can trust..only two major victims , so far , and a few side ripples... it's been four months...I still think of some great times we had..i still wonder about her bad legs.I still wonder if she is freezing on cold nights, I still miss her, and I don't know...is it just that paternal thing where a man wants to take care of, instead of being taken care of?...is it an internal sense of getting even with the family? Is it because I don't have enough courage, or faith to go on and continue the search for that special someone?

 

 

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I’m the moderator for this topic. I am sorry, but It seems that the professional has left this conversation. This happens occasionally, and it's usually because the professional thinks that someone else might be a better match for your question. But don’t worry….. If you are still waiting for an answer, I will try to find a new professional to assist you! Please keep in mind that sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected. All of our Professionals come on at varying times, so sometimes it’s a bit difficult to predict. Either way....If you would prefer not to wait, please feel free to let me know, and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you.

Camille

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I am going nowhere..in a hurry. I would surely appreciate hearing what an expert has to say. thanks Camille, and I'll stand by


 

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your continued patience :-)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Starting to think that I have the experts all stumped with an abnormal question..


You see..I think we could have a wonderful relationship, if she could face the sickness, but i feel between a rock and a hard place...the whole family cannot face the issue, and I believe it's partly guilt that makes them do all the things to pretty her life, and if she does have a post dramatic stress disorder, then the ones who done her wrong are the only ones who can bring peace and contentment to her life...


still awaiting an answer

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.
Hi Alan... I can also list your question under relationships if you'd like... we have some excellent Professionals that I believe will be able to assist you, is that ok with you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

That would be fine...maybe the right place for it anyway. Thanks Camille

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.
You are very welcome, thank you for your continued patience :-)
Expert:  jadt65 replied 1 year ago.

Hi Allen,

I am sorry you had to wait for an answer.

It sounds like you had been through a lot with your loved one and you are bonded to her, yet you realize she is in a toxic family situation. It is frustrating when you offer a person a life line out of a situation and they refuse to take hold to reach a safe place.

Given everything you have been though with her, it is normal to wonder how she is doing and what her life is like now. Are you able to get in touch with her?

I can't diagnose over the inter net and with information from 3rd parties, so I can't say whether or not she has PTSD. I do know that people who have been brought up in abusive families tend to view that as somewhat "normal" because that is all they know. It is often difficult for them to break free from their family of origin to start a new life.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. If not, please accept my answer and rate my service.

Best,

Julie

jadt65, Multisystemic Therapy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 119
Experience: Provided relationship counseling for more than 20 years for people in every stage of life.
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