How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask BillLCSW Your Own Question

BillLCSW
BillLCSW, LCSW, MFT Treating Couples for 35 years
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3705
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker MF Therapist
48585111
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
BillLCSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

What is the best way to break up with someone to stalks yo

Resolved Question:

What is the best way to break up with someone to stalks you? We have been in a relationship for 4 years. I know that when we try to break it off she will get very violent - possibly physically and/or emotionally.

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  BillLCSW replied 2 years ago.
Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

I am sorry to hear you are having to deal with this.

As a Therapist and Criminologist - I want you to understand the following words: STALKERS CAN BE DANGEROUS

When it comes to stalkers- here are the does and dont's:

http://www.protectionagainststalking.org/node/22


Basic advice to handle stalking
  • End the relationship in clear terms: 'I do not want a relationship with you'. There is no such thing as 'letting down easy' a potential stalker. Any other way that leaves the message open to interpretation will keep him hanging on. 'Im not ready' 'I have a boyfriend' or using a go-between will only make him think that there is a possibility.

  • Gather all evidence, but do not tamper with it. Save voice mails, letters, notes, gifts etc for the police. Have a camera and/or a VCR with you. Keep a record of all incidences.

  • No contact. Contact to the stalker translates into his mind into a relationship.

  • No response. Do NOT return gifts, letters or goods sent to you. This will infer a relationship in his head. Legal claims that can go unanswered should do so. Never answer the phone. If you answer the 31th time, he knows it will pay off to persist.

  • Leave a photo and description of your stalker to co-workers, neighbors, kindergarten employees-anyone he can think of contacting. Warn them not to give out information about you and report back to you if he has been around.

  • Get as much personal information about you removed from public records.

  • Do a safety check on your house.

  • Wear mace or a personal attack alarm at all time.

  • Do NOT attack your stalker, neither physically, nor verbally as he then might get the justification for his pursuit or even a legal dispute.
source: http://www.womansavers.com/Stalking-In-Relationships.asp

I trust this will help you and wish you the very best.

I appreciate your Positive Rating- Excellent Service is my goal

Kind regards, Bill
BillLCSW, LCSW, MFT Treating Couples for 35 years
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3705
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker MF Therapist
BillLCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
BillLCSW
BillLCSW
Psychotherapist, Consultant, Expert Wit.
29 Satisfied Customers
Licensed Clinical Social Worker MF Therapist