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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5581
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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they allways watching me, what I do, where I look, if I like

Customer Question

they allways watching me, what I do, where I look, if I like this person or another, In an beginning they like'd me but now doing all this I dont now anymore. what to for them to back of and respect me as a person. also co-orworks tell the boss anything I say to them.
thanks
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  retireddebra replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry to hear this.

Are you looking for legal information or more about how to work things out at work?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I am looking for to work things at work. For them to be on my side. maybe I give bad body language, maybe I stair to much, give them the impression that I want to flirt. And I am being scan all this time. they are checking me out to see what kind of person that I am.. What I know is I am a good person. Better then them.

Expert:  retireddebra replied 2 years ago.
I will move this to a different list so an expert in this area can assist you.

I am a lawyer and so cannot help.

Please do not reply back as that will delay the question from moving over.
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 2 years ago.

Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your co workers are not giving you a fair chance to be part of the group at work. If they are playing games like that, it makes it difficult to know how to act so you can be included. That often happens in groups, especially at places like work where there is a sort of "click" sometimes. That is, people tend to stick together and exclude others they don't feel they want to "accept" into the group. It can be very difficult to cope with and makes it hard to do your job.

What you can do is try to be friendly when you do see these people. Smile and say hello. Then keep your distance and focus on your job. Being friendly helps you appear open and most people cannot make a big deal out of someone being friendly. Face them and smile. Ignore them when they turn their backs to you. What they do is about them and not you. They are not acting in a mature way when they do those things. So ignore their behavior. They will get tired of doing it after a while when they see it doesn't work.

Also, focusing on your work will make your boss happy. Plus even if they wanted to let you into the group, it doesn't sound like a group that anyone would want to be a part of. They seem to exclude others and maybe even talk about them amongst themselves, which does not sound like a great group to be part of.

Try focusing on making friends and finding support outside of work, or even outside of your department at work. Join groups that you are interested in. Go out with other friends to meet new people. Open up your social circle through your interests. For example, if you like to work out, join a gym. That is a good way to meet others.

Also consider talking to a therapist. With what you have been through at work, you need support and someone on your side. A therapist can help you cope and you can learn ways to reduce your stress and connect to others. Talk to your doctor about a referral.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate


May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!

Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5581
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 2 years ago.

Thank you so much for the positive rating! I appreciate it.

My best to you,

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Also the problem that I have is I dont know why to look at people, especialy at man. This is so embarasing but it is time to fix this problem that I have. So I wont'n have no one questioning me. I think all this problems cames with do way I look. Please help me. When I look at man especialy, if they are talking to me I stair at them I suppose to focus on what are they saying but no. I stair so much give them the impression that I want them to tell me they they like me or the other way aroung, I like them and give the wrong impression that I am flirt. Please help I need to fix this asap. Also I have anxiaty and depression, I what know what to do. I'd like to look like a normal person. What is your thought about this, can I fix?


 


Alexandra Da Silva

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 2 years ago.

I would be more than happy to continue working with you on any new questions you have. All I ask is that you remember to rate my answers for each new/different question you ask. Let me know if this works for you. Thank you.

If it is ok with you that we continue, I will be back on line in the morning (it is late here) to answer your questions.

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.


Yes, it is fine, and I will rate for answer each time.


thank you

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 2 years ago.
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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues