I am really sorry you are going through such a rough patch with your boyfriend. The situation does sound confusing and I can understand your feelings of hurt and sadness.
I am wondering if he is running into diffculty with work or perhaps with his children, if he has any. Sometimes it is diffcult for men to discuss issues relating to health, work, and family with their significant others.
From what you said, he has said he needs some space and time. You seem to be willing to give that to him, but you are frustrated with not knowing the reason. It seems like it really does not have anything to do with your relationship per se.
Based on what you wrote, he mentioned feeling depressed and pulling away from loved ones is common with people suffering from depression. Has he sought counseling or talked to his doctor about this...that might be a starting point for him.
He does seem like he is reaching out for you in the sense that he does not want you to give up on the relationship.
In my opinion, the most powerful and supportive thing to do is to "be" for him. Be there is he wants to talk or just be willing to be a silent support. Your instincts are correct in that if you push the issue, it is likely that you will push him away.
Please let me know if I can provide any more insight into the situation. If not, please remember to accept and rate the answer.
It sounds as if he has a lot of difficult situations in his life right now.
If he is refusing counseling...I would not push it because in most circumstances. a person who is forced into therapy is not going to Let enough in" to really get anything out of it. in those situations, I recommend that family members and/or loved ones seek counseling because if one person in a relationship makes a change, the other will have to change (usually) to adapt to new behavior, attitudes, or ways of interaction.
An option might to arrange a date in a public place like a park or museum or the like. It will take the pressure off of him to talk, which many men hate to do when they are trying to work things out for themselves. That way the two of you can enjoy time with each other, without the pressure of sex, and perhaps get back to roots for what is good with your relationship.
Let me know if I can be of anymore assistance.
Thank you for accepting my answer. What can you do to take good care of you during this rough time so you do not feel as hurt by his actions?
Would it work to have a night out with friends or perhaps try starting a new hobby? I am not sure what to suggest since I do not know your interests, ect.
Sometimes when we do some good things for oursleves to help heal and grow, it can have a positve effect on the way others interact with us.
Yes. I have interests and hobbies that i am involved in as much as possible, (I do have some health issues and am disabled....disabled but NOT handicapped in ANY way), plus spending time with my own children (daughter 19yrs old and Son 16 years old). I have always maintained some life separate from being the other half of my boyfriend. Always thought that was necessary.
That is great that you have that balance that you can use as a resource during this tough time. Now might be a good time to take on a new project or take a day trip on the weekend with your children.
I would also suggest taking some time to pamper yourself while your boyfriend is sorting through his issues. It will help you feel more settled.
Thank you for your assistance. You have been helpful
I am glad I could be of assistance.
I dont know how this works. I do have a subscription for unlimited questions. I notice that some experts have actual live chat sessions. How does that work? and is it possible to perhaps schedule a chat session with you? Cannot have this chat at this moment, but wondering if it is possible to schedule one for a future time?
Sure, just post a question with my name it (jadt65) and I will get an email about the question. I am near a comuter most of the time, so I should be able to get right to you. If you have a day and time, I will make sure that I am available.
THANK YOU!!! My situation is pretty complicated, and I think I really do need a chat session. Hopefully, we will be able to schedule one shortly.
Thanks for your help.
You are welcome. As long as you give me about 1-2 hours head up, I should be available.