It's good to hear from you. Hope you have been doing well also. So sorry for the delay. I was offline.
I think that was wonderful insight on your part. I do think that this is probably why is Mom is tired of him. When it seems like there always something wrong people can get tired of another. Seems he did take after his father in a lot of ways. Sometimes when we hear one side of the story the other can be made out to look bad until we hear the other's side. This is probably why his mom is so upset with him and kicked him out. Sometimes parents need to be that way with their children in order for them to grow up because if we "baby" them then they may remain dependent all their lives, which is not helping them, but actually hurting them. I agree with you that he is surely not gay. He is changing everything once again like he did with his idea's and job's, but this time it is with this. He is creating the situation to prove what he wants to be real. He told you he knew all along and was born like this meanwhile he told you it was disgusting if he were to do something with a man and he was starting to think he was gay. He clearly has been hurt by women, so is giving up on women completely and due to one man making him happy he is making himself believe he is gay. What will happen if this man hurt him? I agree with you that this is a new issue and was not gay all along. I would question him when you get the chance about why he thought sleeping with a man was disgusting and why it is no longer or is it? Plus it is concerning that he didn't tell his mom. This makes me think he is scared or maybe really not gay, so does not want to create a scene. Meanwhile he may have told you this to get your attention. Maybe try saying to the mom something like " how can we make a plan to help him rather saying he needs you" because she sounds sick and tired of him. She may not want all that responsibility and defend herself from that since she has been there for him in the past, but by including yourself she may be more open.
You're amazing. Geez. Absolutely amazing and brilliant. Spot on with your answers.
I thought the same exact thing - what's going to happen when he starts to see things about this gay guy that he doesn't like? Or even worst if this gay guy cheats on him? Right now they're in the honeymoon phase and I'm POSITIVE this gay guy is showering him with attention, love and support he desperately craves. My gut feeling is he's doing that to get into his pants. Eventually you start to get tired of giving someone so much attention and you start showing your true colors. The last email I sent him was saying that I love him and support him and to please be careful and that I'll be there for him whenever he needs me. He never responded and each time he has a new hobby whether its school, a new career choice, a new friend, he completely wraps himself up in that and ignores me. I also realized that I have to let him go and let him find himself. I keep on being there for him and it's always breaks my heart whenever he leaves me because he has a new job, or has a new friend or is moving to the other side of the country for school and now he's gay! His mother did the right thing in kicking him out. I have to learn to let go as well and just pray for him. I do genuinely believe that he'll realize one way or another that he's straight but he has to go through this. My gut tells me that that's what I need to do and just work on myself in the meantime.
Yes. Yes. Yes! You're absolutely right. He absolutely has dependency issues and that's why he attaches himself so much to these people. He never did that with me because of his fear of women and he had such high walls up. I've also noticed he has patterns. These friendships and ideas always last from 6-8 months then he realizes how wrong he was and apologizes. I see now, that he needs genuine help to overcome his fears, forgive his family, figure out what line of work he should be in and just love himself. And you're also right - he always does come back. I need to take care of myself this time and be happy. Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice. I truly cherish it. God Bless You.