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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I recently dated a divorced man and before getting involved

Resolved Question:

I recently dated a divorced man and before getting involved with him I had asked him if he had been in any serious relationships. His response was I've been out dated but nothing serious. We were together for a few months and I started to discover a lot of women in his life. I asked him specifically if he had slept with this one girl and he said no. I continued the relationship and started to question him about other women in his life. I found out he was involved with a married woman and lied about the first woman I asked him about. Over time the whole thing fell apart when he went to visit a third woman he basically said I don't want to be with anyone so I said ok and left. From that point forward I haven't had much direct contact. His immediate response was to start parading around with women in front of me wherever I was especially the woman I originally asked him about to hurt me. I guess my question is if he didn't want to be involved in the first place then why is he lashing out or making the effort to hurt me? I was caring and supportive and never disrespected him. My second question is how do I move on from someone that is constantly under my nose?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Hi,

I am sorry that this has happened. We will never know exactly why he did this and what is in his mind, but one thing is certain that he seems to have issues. For whatever reason he lied and got off to a bad start with you. He probably had many relationships in the past that did not work and may have really liked you, so wanted to hide his past in order to not turn you off from him. When that was discovered he had to protect himself from getting hurt, so he broke it off. He then may want to get you jealous in order for you to want him back and this is why he is doing this to you now or he may just not be ready to settle down and he wants to make you jealous because of his own problems. He may have low self esteem, so by hurting you it makes him feeling better. He does not seem like a healthy mature individual. This is very immature and shows traits of an insecure individual. Going to church, praying, and traveling are all good things. I would avoid him at all costs and take care of yourself. If you need to move or change activities to not see him you may want to consider that. However, if he is harassing you then it would be best to get a restraining order against him. This way he will not be allowed legally close to you.

I wish you all the best and please reply if I can be of further help to you.
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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