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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi again, Well Bob text me morning cutie thanksgiving morning

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Hi again, Well Bob text me morning cutie thanksgiving morning something he hasnt called me since Aug. Than never heard from him again. I saw a car the next weekend stayed over housemate not home. He wasnt home much of Thanksgiving weekend. Ihad his daughter mail come to my house- put it in his door tuesday during day-text him wed am and told him I felt it was improtant. he explained he was in city at college party and got in late(Idont hink he came home) said thenks he will look- asked about my daughters BDAy I responded 7 hrs. later- saying had a very bust day, very eventful. Must have felt good to see his old friends. Wow my baby is 21 a milestone what do you think?:) time for me.. ANd she stayed at school but she is alive and well lol. He didnt respond than at 1040pm he text where did yuou put the? cant find them. I did not respond. I havent heard from him. Guess hes seeing that person again. What do you make of his no reply and his text. He seemed really nioce in am and nasty im pm. Im moving on I have too. If he wanted me he would be here. I still dont understand why,.HGavent seen him to ask why he did what he did. I figured he wanted to keep me in the wings on tHANKSGIVING. sHE WAS HERE LAST WEEK AND SPENT THE NIGHT AGAIN. I dont think he will contact me agin. what do you think. Do you think this is a rebound for him. Thanks for listening. and for your help.Patty
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Hi,

Good to hear from you. Sorry I did not see this sooner. The company just alerted me. It is difficult to say exactly what he is thinking and wants. Text is a very complicated thing sometimes people can be busy and overlook a text. Also, somethings can come out the wrong way. It did not seem he was nasty, but seems he overlooked what you said about your daughter and was interested more in his letters could have been a mistake on his part due to the text "issues". In any case I think you are handling this well. I would just respond back letting him know where you put the mail and see what he does from there. It is good you are planning to move on that is the best thing to take care of yourself and if anything does happen between the both of you then you can always reevaluate your situation and go from there. At this point you are your #1 priority. Btw congrats on your daughter. I know how fast they grow!!!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi, Thank you. Well I gor my mail this am the letters are back in my mailbox. Guess his roommaye didnt know his daughters name. So he must know I have them again. I am not texti9ng him or bringing them back. He can call or text me- I think I will tell him to come a get them, I will not leave them in mailbox, I could but ... what do you think. I would like to figure out how to do this. Obviously I didnt create enough attraction ths last time. Can you help me as to what to say. Do I invite him in? do I just stay on porch and talk? Or do I just give them to him and just have small talk. We have never spoken as to why he just walked away again. Should I say- Good to see you cant stay and chat but how are you? how was Thansgiving?( I know he was with someone else) Any plans for XMAS? or dont ask anything? I want to say it so nicely and femine - It was nice of you to take care of me during hurricane, It didnt feel good coming in and thanleaving again.and wait and see what he says. I need help. I still would like to get back with him, but I seem to always screw things uip. Thank you soo much..


Patty

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
It may be best this time to play a little hard to get, so he realizes you will not always be there when we wants. That could get him thinking. Maybe best to say I have your letters, so you can come by if you want to pick them up. Then hand them to him at the door and say something like Hi "I am sorry I am on the run, so can't stay and chat for too long, but wanted to let you know I really do appreciate you helping me through the hurricane and how have you been? This will show you are busy too and not just open to him whenever he feels, but you do appreciate what he did and care to ask how he is doing. What do you think?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you- That exactly what I have to say. Im working on not being nice. lol Its not that Im a needy person, im just always way toooo nice lol to everyone. Thank you so much im printing it so i can remember it. Im working on setting my boundaries. Its hard to do. Do you think he will call or text- or do you think I should tell him they came back to my house again. I think I should let him text or call first- what do you think. And then I will tell him whay you said. Can you be a little reciever in my ear please LOL Thank you soo much.


\


Patty

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Lol if it were only that easy :) I understand what you mean there is that thin line between being too nice and allowing people to take advantage, but then crossing that line and turning rude. Its not easy, but takes a lot of practice and thinking about it until it comes natural. That is good because this is how change occurs.
I don't know if he will text you, but I think you should text him to let him know in case its important mail then go with the game plan. I think you will do just fine. :)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much. I think you are right, and Im trying. I will go with the plan. Hopefully it will spark an interest. Trying to move on, he has. Obviously he has. If a man wants you he will be there. Thanks again. Hope you have a great holiday.


 


Patty

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Anytime. It is my pleasure. Thanks and Happy Holidays to you too!!!

Talk to you soon!
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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