Hi My name isXXXXX broke up with my boyfriend four months ago and I still miss him, want him and finding it all hard to cope. We had been together for over 2 years, had usual arguments, ups and downs but the only major problem was his gambling and i was there throughout helping him emotionally and financially. One night i came back to mine and he was there gambling online, i had asked him to help me cook and he refused, so i was annoyed and went to cook. He comes crashing into the kitchen and said 'thanks to you i've lost £200 f***ing cos you were angry with me'. I was so angry and hurt i yelled at him and asked for some space. A week later he told me he loved me but didnt see this going long term I was devastated, had millions of questions but he refused to talk. A month later after hearing nothing, out of the blue he tried to make small talk, i made it clear to him i was hurt and wanted to talk he agreed and later that evening he came round mine to talk. He looked a mess and cried the whole time, he said he felt guilty for what he had put me through but that he loved me and missed me. I could see he was torn, a part of him wanted to stay and the other leave. The morning after he said he loves me but didnt want to drag me down with him. After that he went silent again and now ignores me and avoids me which hurts like hell. The only time he spoke to me was when were out with co workers (we work in the same area) and he was drunk....he tried to touch etc. Then the next day again back to silence. What hurts me is that he gave me hope, when he came and wanted to stay and I cant get rid of that, and now seeing him avoid me like i've done something terrible makes me feel very down that even now im crying myself to sleep missing him, wanting him. I had forgiven him for everything and I told him this. I am willing to try again and at times i see that he wants that too. Hes left me very confused and heartbroken
he's always been a hard person to talk to, he never really shares what he feels or thinks. The last few timeswe spoke about our relationship, hes either been drunk or crying his eyes out. And i don't know whether to believe what he says.
I would love to sit and talk to him but he's avoiding me, wont even look me in the eyes so i dont think that will be possible for some time.
I've left him alone although i have been guilty of texting him 'i miss you' etc but ive realised theres no point in those.
I have told him before that i would be willing to help and support him. But the last time we spoke and I asked have you been to a clinic he replied ' i thought about it but i dont want to be told what to do, im better than that'. I have to admit he was drunk when he said it
most of the time i just try to understand what i did wrong, surely if a girl loves you enough to help you through your problems you would be with her....unless he doesnt.
one thing i forgot to add, is the last time i texted him i miss you, he had replied 'you gotta move on now' until then he would of replied with a smiley face or a kiss. It was after then he went awkward and avoided me. To me it felt like a slap on my face and it was that day onwards i stopped messaging him. It was then when he spoke to me when he was drunk.
I would like to do what you say and help as i've already asked him once before and told him im willing.
However i dont want to hurt anymore than i already am. That feeling of rejection is hard to stomach
But am i wrong in hoping, could there be a chance if I did what you suggested?
U are going to get fed up of me! But i appreciate what you are saying.
The other issue im trying to steel myself to is seeing him move onto someone else. It will kill me inside if and when he does. I know i will question myself what does she have what i dont etc
I really appreciate all you have said.