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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Back in September my ex husband informed me that he would be

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Back in September my ex husband informed me that he would be canceling his health coverage as he could no longer afford it. I had my doubts and thought that if I strive every day to cover our son and make sacrifices he should too!
As a mom and human being I feel good about making sacrifices and ensuring the well being of our son, so I make sure that he is covered.

Well I said fine if you need to get back on your feet I will continue my coverage as I should.

Heres where it gets NUTS... I encourage him to continue to strive to be responsible as a parent, however he still canceled our sons coverage, yet continued his. If I were in his shoes I would cancel my health care and keep our son in good standing. Yet he didnt think that way!
I still let it go.

Now yesterday when dropping off our son he drives up in a new Mercedes... Show room new... yet he cant afford health care for our son.

I bust my rear everyday to pay for our insurance as I should, but I dont feel that I should be the only one responsible for our sons coverage. It is what it is?

My concern here is I was called bitter and jealous by him, however Im glad that he has the possessions that he always wanted, as Im doing well too.

I just want to make sure that Im not wrong. Not going to lie, it hurt me to see him not care for our two year old as much as I do. I feel as though he did it out of spite and turned our son into a weapon.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt out of the goodness of my heart and was understanding, but he flat out lied... I dont feel entitled and I feel happy to be able to provide for our son! But to be lied to about the care of our son is insane, when he clearly can is bonkers.

He can every possesion known to man, I just want him to put our son first and stop doing things to spite me

Am I wrong here?

Please help!!
Hello. No of course you are not wrong. Kids should ALWAYS come first. What you have to understand is that it is natural for a man to feel the way that he does. He does not see things the way you do and he does put himself first. The divorce probably hurt his self esteem a bit and feels he needs to make up for it with expensive things. This is more important to him than nurturing another human being. It is just one of the unfortunate differences between men and women. As a mother, your natural instinct is to put your child first. He does not have that nurture ability like you do, it's just the way it goes. You are a good mom. Try not to stress too much about him and do your best. Don't expect him to put as much into this as you. It probably isn't going to happen.
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