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actually i reside in india n he in dubai... im afraid on what he would think of me if i say this out.. if he says a 'no' then it wud be very difficult for me to face him ever... and what if he stops talking to me after saying this.. awd the other prob is that, we both belong to the same religion but different subcastes. i dont know if he's particular about all that... i am ready to wait. but what if he doesnt even think of this?
but, which do u feel is a better option? i have 2 more years to complete my BE course and he is currently working. should i wait till then? or just leave it to fate... i'm totally confused... i know i'm sounding a little stupid... :( the problem is if he rejects then i wud b depressed all the more... n it would be embarassing too. its just bcoz we know each other for years i'm unable to speak out.. if it was someone else i wud have ...
:). ok... but how ? all of a sudden how will i start something? i mean.. conversation on what.. he always teases me.. n thats how we fight... but a fight in a way that does not hurt either of us.. i guess these small fights hav made me into him..
ok.. yes.. i can do that !! :-) well i feel so relieved talking to you... thankyou so much... :-)
but i have 1 more doubt... he's a guy who flirts with all the girls. for example.. if a girl says "i like" seeing his pic, instead of "thankyou" it wud be "love u too" . what if he is not serious with me too? or how can i figure it out??
yes.. thanku so much doctor.. :-) now i have a littile hope somewhere in my mind... let me try if i can figure it out.. i will surely get back to you. :-) hope you will be here.. if possible please give me your email id.. so that anytime in life if it happens i wud be able to contact you.. Thankyou once again !! :-)
hi, i just told this guy that i like him last night. But to my surprise he was very harsh on me n said right now he has no time to think abt all this and also said this has never been his area of interest. He said he behaved freely not with such an intention. i knew that his intentions were not this as i did tell u earlier. Now my prob is in case he or his parents come home how am i supposed to face them..? Though i have asked him to keep this between us. He dint allow me to speak further and told me to put an end to this topic. Infact even this has never been my area of interest n this was the first guy. Now i feel i should have kept this within me. Maybe, now he might have given me the tag 'bad'. I really feel bad. Its a situation where i cant even cry before anyone.I dont know why he behaved so rudely. It was very evident from his chat msgs. In between he told me to complete my course n try to gain something out of it in a very ironic way,which did hurt me all the more. What should i do ? Was this such a big mistake? How am i supposed to face him again? And in case his brother and his parents get to know abt this i really wonder how i wud stand before them. He did not tell me that he doesnt like me. Just that he is not thinking of all this now. But his harsh behaviour is something which i really dint expect. Does this mean that he does not like me? Please advice me on this. Im really tensed.
ok.. should i just convert this whole thing as a joke ?? by just saying that "it was just a part of a bet" or something just to know how u would react.. ??
but atleast he wudnt feel ill of me i guess... cud u pls explain on the consequences if i twist the whole story ?? n even if i, would he believe it?
yes i did ask him the reason for him being so harsh. He said he's not being harsh n he was never his area of interest n hence i wud feel it cld or harsh ! can i sent the parts of the conversation so that i get a firm idea on what to do?
i began the conversation by asking him about the official trip he had the very same day morning. After all that i said i i have got something to tell him and he asked me "what". Actually i dint want to be so direct. But he was very cool in the beginning, so just thought of saying it out having a feeling that the response would be same anytime! the converstion goes like this :
myself : i dont know if saying this to u is right or wrong ..
n i dont know how u wud react to it !
he: i see.. then u better not say.
myself : no?
he: u said u dont know. Then y shud you tell me ? :-D
myself : yes i dont know !! :)
he : ok
myself : u may find it as crap .. :-):-)
he : ic..ok.
myself : at some point i hav realized tht i like you . though i have very limited knowledge abt u.
he : what?
myself : what's so much to understand in this ?
he : i was asking whether u r in ur senses..??
myself : why? i know your ans " i hav no time" :p
he : study n try to gain something out of it in ur good time ..
myself : ?
he : what do u think would be my response to this ??
myself : thats wht i said i dont know !!
he : There would not be a fwd talk on that topic .. simply put - - -
myslef :ok fine ..i just said wht i felt.. nthn else !
he : ok.
myself : y u getting so angry ? was that such a big mistake ?
he : din say so
myself : n what does my studies got to do with this ? i hav been studying for all this while.. n have been quite successful in it ! n tht will continue..
i dint ask u tell me a yes or no either !
he : Indirect statement to change subject.
myself : ok
can i get an answer ?? i will stop aftr tht..i will go ..
he : There would not be a fwd talk means what? I don't respond in rude.
myself : that i understud
u r quite rude now
will u answer my last qs?
i will leave for sure..
he : wht qs?
myself : will u tell me the reason for u giving me such a harsh negative response ..?
even without thinking for a min ??
he : This is no harsh response. These are things that I am not thinking of at all now. My free behaviour was not with an intend of giving a thought of such .There's no harsh response or any other meaning to it.
let me clarify 1 last thinng... i know u r not in a situation to think of all this now.. nor am i interested in what u think i am interested in !
n i havent mistaken ur free behaviour !
he : This has always been a topic out of my interest. Hence you might find my response to be cold or harsh.
myself : nor did i expect you to say yes.this topic has always been smthn out of my interest too ! n thats a known fact to all !
this is the first time tht i hav thot .. n just said it
n that does not mean that coz u behaved freely, you hav created such a feeling ! nor hav i taken u wrong...i knew u wud react this way ! n i knew ur intentions werent this...i just wanted to know u a lil more btr ! thats it !
he : K
myself : n im sorry ! hope this wud remain btw us !
he : its'k
myself : sorry for what i hav done ! if it was a mistake !
ok. but i dont think he would talk to me as before. And it is quite difficult for me too !! but does this say he doesnt like me at all or is that he is just not ready for it now.. ? i thought to refrain from talking to him now onwards thinking he wouldnt be free to me as before n would also have the feeling that i am taking things in the wrong sense. So what should i do now ? Shall i just leave all this n just forget about him..? though it is quite difficult.
actually i really feel i have let my parents down too... :-( i dont know why..
laslty, can you tell me what i should be doing in brief so that i may follow it and forget the rest .. please..
what hurts me the most is his statement "this was never my topic of interest" . i have a feeling that he has taken me as if i say this to each and every guy i see. or are these just my silly thoughts ?? i feel so bad because i know im not such a kind of a girl... i have never felt like this to any other guy nor did i have ever believed in all this..
yes i will do that ! One of my friend just said, maybe not now. What if he thinks of you at the time he is ready to get into a relationship, as i have opened up my mind.
Thankyou so much Dr. :) :)
today early morning i recieved a msg saying that "not a matter of what u have done .. its jst ur thought came outta the blue .. so the fact of not taking u at all that way was suddenly a question .. thats why a reaction of such kind .. don worry abt it .." should i reply to this ? and what does this mean ? after a day all of a sudden he has replied to my last msg that u can see in the conversation.
ok... does it mean that he is not at all interested? or are there chances that as said earlier he could consider sometime later when he is ready ? should i reply anythng ?
he is working... yes, maybe after he gets into a firm position. So, i still can keep hopes.. right? :)
he was online.. n i just asked how he is doing n . he replied he's ok n asked how i am. I too i said i'm gud. And he was like "kk". is that ok? shud i tell or ask him anythng more ?
ok. thankyou so much !! :-)
Dr. i just closed my social networking accounts. i am still not able to get out of it.. so thought of deactivating my account. Is that alright.. ? I dont think he will keep contacts with me anymore !
its like i just dont feel comfortable when i see him online and i again start thinking too negative..so i thought to keep away from it..
hi.. i just activated my account yesterday n came to see some sort of a hilarious rather an inspirational post that says "if you dont like me buy a map and get a car , go to hell" so i just shared it... !! to my surprise this guy has liked the post.. n it is for the first time that he has 'liked' something' on my wall.... does this have some other meaning ? is he trying to convey that he does not like me at all n trying to say that i should have this in mind.. ?? since i had kept away for a while.... i know i'm thinking too much ..
That's true !! But just because he liked the my post for the first time.. though i had put several other ones before, this has never happened. So got a feeling that he's trying to convey that even if he says 'no' or maybe as he has said 'not for now' i should have this attitude and just blow it off rather than keeping away. Maybe it's just because of the situation and that i have this in mind.
Thankyou so much !! :-) I'm trying my best to get out of this.. as said earlier.. what if he himself comes back later... sometime, when he is ready and if he feels !! :))
well... after so many days.. one of my friend came up and told me to forget about this and that he might have not found u beautiful physically in his perspective.. one thing i have noticed is even through social networking sites he responds to all the other girls posts which including their pics and all that stuff.. but never responds to mine.. has this got anythn to do with this ??
Another thing said to me by my friend is that i do not have to worry at all about this.. as said earlier he hasnt got into a firm position till now though he is well educated nor is he the so called 'handsome' . She says if a girl like me can like him knowing all this and then if he says 'no' he is the loser. She told me it was good that i told him i like him now when he has nothing.. a time when no girl would dare to accept him ... later he wudnt say that i din't tell him this when he had nothing and that he should realize this fact that even at his worst days you could accept and like him leaving all the other things aside. She said he should realize that i am a simple girl and didnt think of anything else and it is him whom i liked and not his wealth or any other aspect. She told me as long as i have a good character n as long as i am beautiful enough in others eyes forget about the rest and that he has no right to judge me at all as he does not stand bright in the 'appearance' factor. He's a guy with average looks so am i.
now the most painful part is that he has stopped talking to me as predicted !! :) i really don't know what to do i even find it so difficult and embarassed to even reply to his mom's new year wishes...
yes i will.. shall i stay away for a while from all this ?? It's like whenever i see him i start getting all kind of negative thoughts and my day is gone...
Yes i will try !! :) Thankyou and Wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year !! :))))
Hi, i'm again on this with something that i just heard. Someone told me that i shoudn't have told him that i like him first. Never chase a man or tell him you like him first. He has to chase you. If he does not, there is a reason...he is not interested. He does not view this as a big huge "put my heart on the sleeve and put my feelings on display and got rejected" as you do. He just sees it as a slight compliment and a minor brush of dust off his sleeve.
It is very important sometimes to a girl to tie into a guy with ties to the parents but you cannot value this and you need to see who is asking you out. Not whom you choose...
Now what's this all about?? :(((( Whenever i try to forget about this, someone or the other would come up with all sorts of comments..... I'm not trying to chase anyone....
Ok ! I dont know where this is taking me.. Anyway, thankyou so much !! :))))
Hi doctor !! :-) This guys parents r coming home tomorrow... i'm really very tensed. Thought of many ways to escape from all this.. but unfortunately i'm not able to. I really don't know how i am going to face them. I also don't know if they are aware of it. What should i do.. though i'm out of all that n not concerned at all about him !
Well yes doctor :-) Meanwhile i came to meet up with another person. A guy whom i met online. We did exchange our numbers.We started chatting and its now been almost 3 months. We have talked through phone just twice or thrice. Now my problem is... one day he came up saying that he likes me . I just took it as a joke because i wasnt and still not sure if he's just playing around. He says he doesn't take anything seriously in life but that didnt mean that he is not serious with me. He says he is not flirting. Though we just talk as friends and i keep a safe distance. He says he doesn't want me to keep such a distance and that i should be very open and frank to him in all matters. He says he likes talking to me. But just 2 days back, just for fun i had sent him an emoticon of a heart and then he replied he loves me too ! I told him i had just sent it to him for a fun sake. But he said he really meant it.. BUT not a serious one. He again emphasizes that he likes talking to me n he is concerned about me at times. He says hes not a romantic type of guy. But what i dont understand is that.. how is he taking all this and what does he mean by he loves me but not a serious one ?? Is this just a time pass for him ? He also doesn't like talking about marriages and ofcourse i too don't. Can u advice me on this.. if i shud accept this or is he just playing around or something? He also said he wants to meet me.
yes.. i have disclosed about him to my parents.. nothing serious.. just as a friend. But.. being very conservative .. my mum tells me at times "i dont think this will work seeing the way it is moving". He also started keeping a distance when i told him this... maybe im too much. He again insists that that he likes talking to me.. n then says "i'm never serious on anything". i dont take serious matters seriously. So this sort of talks create a sort of confusion in me. Maybe because of the pressure i get from my parents. Should i take that seriously? He says he wants to meet me.. so should i go for it? He is planning to go abroad .. maybe in a year or something..so thrs probably a gap again.. i'm just confused if i should proceed..... because i dont want my to hurt myself again... just in case we get close. :-) few days back he told me for 2 years he is not ready to get into anything with any girl. Its from that time, i started understanding what he meant and is something agreeable to me too. But what should i answer to my parents.. or should i just ignore it.. So on the whole i'm just confused :-)
Okay :-) He had texted me the previous day and said he wants to meet me as both of us are free. Though he had suggested this earlier we couldn't make it somehow and delayed it due to some reasons. Shall i meet him tomorrow? Well, i don't know what's in his mind, he says he wants to talk to me. Is he looking forward to the way i look or something?? this is also something i'm not sure of ! (Though i have gained a few extra pounds) :-D Is this a great deal? He has seen all my recent pics n all. Leaving all that, should i meet him tomorrow? If yes, then is there anything particular i should keep in mind?
Hi DR, i'm again confused about the same thing. I have to attend a wedding from his side and now the situation is like., i cannot stay back n my parents r forcing me to accomoany them. As its quite far n they might not be able to reach on time. But i feel really embarassed to face him, knowing not what he would think of me, But 1 thing is sure tht his parents arent aware of wht has happened. If i dont attend the wedding his parents might think ill
of me and i have this thng on my mind. How am i going to face him? Should i really go? We have spoken after tht normally but have never seen each other, Please advice me on this.
Hello Dr .. hope you are doing fine. I'm again here for your advice.. the issue between the guy i (family friend) has been resolved. As you told me, i did go for the wedding and he acted very normal n made me all the more comfortable by cracking his usual jokes of me.. something which i least expected. We are the way we used to be now :-) probably a few months back he asked me for my number, which made me all the more happy. Well, i have kept my feelings towards him aside, the one i used to have for him a year back..thinking i shudnt hurt myself again ! And about the other guy which i discussed with you a few months later.. i still havent got a chance to meet up with him. Its been really long.. and whenever we decide to meet up, something important pops up for him. its been almost 3 times that this is been happening. This time my problem is.. He has confessed that he really likes me and wud definitely like to meet. I had made up as story a few days back about me getting a proposal n i asked him if i should go or not. He immediately told me not to go and meet the guy. I just wanted to know how he would react to it. recently i got a proposal officialy from my parents.. and thats really taunting me now. Since we havent met up my mum feels that he is just playing . But he has clearly told me that he wud meet up very soon. Do you think the same..? is he playing? or shud i wait? i really dont have an answer when such kind of questions arrise. I cant tell him about this either.. untill n unless i meet him. Hope you got to know the situation i'm in right now.. Could you please advice me on this.
Sorry for the trouble.. but your advice has always been a great support for me. :-)
Alright. When i ask him about this he says there is no reason for me to doubt him as he was the first to ask to meet up from day 1. He leaves me a message daily even if i dont pop up for a few days. So, i'm really confused. Hope things go well.
Alright. When i ask him he tells me there is no reason for me to doubt him as he was the first who wanted to meet up from day one. So,i'm just confused. Hope it goes well.
Hello Dr... today i had met with this guy as he told me.. we both spoke normally.. all general kind of stuffs.. n yes a bit of personal matters. we spent almost an hour. We left.. and and after a while he had messaged me asking if h did reach home n all. And i directly asked him about what he felt after seeing me. He did not give me any direct answers.. n just said "u know how i feel about you." Well, i felt that was a matter before we met and not after the meeting... i said i need to know what he feels about me right now. He just said " will know" so. I'm confused. But, as a matter of fact i did not feel any difference in the way he messaged me even after this. He's a very open person and would say it right out, no matter where or whom. Still, as i haven't got a clear answer.. this kind of negative feeling. Even just before leaving he said "this is not the last time that we are goin to meet" and also that i looked exactly the way i was in the pics.. as we met through internet. Would he have even messaged me if he wasn't interested? He asked me the same thing after sometime. Since i wasn't sure.. i tried to skip saying that unless n until he gives me a clear answer i wudnt open up.. his reply was.. "thats upto you". So im just confused.. though i seriously havent got any negativities in the way he speaks.
I Get that. :) Yesterday after a while he msgd me saying that he is positive about the whole thing and would like to meet again soon.. Im just waiting to know where this will end. another difference i have noticed is that he is a bit more caring now.. since he clearly told me hes positive and said he hopes i feel the same .