Hi, I just signed in again after 2 years! i need ed to read your reply again. Its still on my mind. even though my hair grew back, i managed to slightly put it to the back of my thoughts but still have have days even after its about 5 years old. we are still together but it is still hard, sometimes i have to leave and get some fresh air. I hate her for what she did and I hate him. I really want to find him and hurt him. even though i know he is only a guy and was taking an opportunity that she gave him, but i want to teach him a lesson, i will never forgive how much hurt he caused inside my head,
and i will see him oneday. some of our friends are mutial. I am embarrised that i have let another man have the women i love, i sacrificed time with her so i could start a good career and provide the good things in life. My head feels like it is constantly pulsing and i cant fully concentrate on things. Am i to scared to take the risk of leaving her? I need to concentrate in my job, and i feel like i havnt been the same person for the last 5 years. After this much time it should have dissapated but its still there. how can i go on to trust and have a famly and maybe marrage if this is what its like after 5 years. I still want to go and hide, ive had the lowest of times through this . my head runs with thoughts of them together. the emails and phone calls. I want to make her suffer like i have. i want him to know how much pain hes made me feel.