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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I have more of a personal question now. How do I move on from

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I have more of a personal question now. How do I move on from this? How do I let go of him when I know this disaster is occurring? It's one problem to be in love with someone and they leave you - that hurt tremendously But to have your love be completely lost and turn gay, words cannot express my pain. How do let go and get my mind off this? That's what's killing me. The constant thinking about this.
That is definitely understandable. It is difficult, but not impossible. Time is the key here that will really heal you from this. Try and stay busy to keep your mind off of him. Trying new things and activities you may have not had time to do before is a good start. Healthy activities and hobbies are all good. Volunteering is a wonderful way to take your mind off of him as well as helping others at the same time. Even your local library usually has programs for free that you can get involved in. Taking care of yourself right now should be your main goal. Even though you can try and do your part to help him you have no direct control to change him, so accepting this within yourself is important. It is important to remind yourself this, so even though you know what he is doing is not good for him you will still accept the fact that you can not change it and it is not within your power. Of course, continue to do your part, but unfortunately sometimes in order for people to learn it has to be through experience or the hard way. Hopefully he will come around before that. In any case yourself is your #1 priority right now, so try and think about that rather than dwelling on him. Also, when things are difficult because you are thinking of him remind yourself that in order to even help him you need to take care of yourself first. That worse case if nothing else can give you the motivation to press on.
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