Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating and overwhelming this situation must be for you. Your story read almost like a movie! The ending would be that she divorces this guy and the two of you get married, and then live happily ever after.
The movie might be possible. But there's one scene you can't leave out if there's any chance of getting to the happy ending: you're going to have to take the chance and find out what she really feels about you. And to do that, in every movie, the guy has to actually take the plunge and tell her about himself or she won't open up, right?
And that seems to have been the sticking point all along according to what you've written to me: you have done everything opposite or parallel to what you really feel. And, like in the movies, there is really no way for you to keep doing that, to keep playing it safe and ever know what she's hinting about or if she's actually even hinting anything to you.
I wish I could tell you it's a sure thing that she wants to run into your arms, etc. But there is no way to know for sure. You are going to have to take a chance and risk the embarrassment. But you can at least make it not totally embarrassing. You can present it to her that you care about her so much that you want to have a relationship with her no matter what, even if it is a lifelong friendship. But that you want her to know that you have had strong feelings about her. And then tell her that when she makes some comments you don't know how to interpret them. And you want to make sure you don't misinterpret her. But you also don't want to make sure you miss something if it's really there. So you're being honest with her. But you want to again affirm that being close is most important to you, even if as a friend.
Of course, like in the movies, it's taking a chance, but it's not as big a chance as if you just blurt out that you want her to be yours.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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