Dear Pam – Yes long time, no hear ;0) Thank you very much for responding to my request. Actually I tried to get through to via call Advisor last evening, but without any success, so I will try to catch you here again on JustanAnwer.
What I would like to talk about is my favorite subject which is Nikola. Since we last chatted not much has happened. I sent the article to him, which I mentioned to you. He was puzzled, did not really know what to say – and then that was it. He has been on and off. Very busy, but also acting in and odd was. There are strong indications that he and Gitte (our mutual coworker) has been sexually involved and probably still is. Though she is on sick leave with stress and has been for the past month. He has been very protective towards her. Before she went on sick leave, they were acting like a couple. It goes without saying that of course I cannot be with a man who is involved with someone else and who at the same time has been and sometimes still play with my feelings. I have received many and very different messages about him. Some believe that they are still together (also sexually), some believe that they are not, some say be careful Birgit; if he is on his way out of that relationship and gets ready to start dating again, he will most probably dump you just like he dumped all the other girls. He simply does not deserve you. Whereas other say that he is not together with her, he is helping her getting her on her feet again – she is a like a sister to him and he will most probably leave her soon. What am I to believe here? I mean say he was involved with her and he is thinking about leaving her, and that he would be interested in dating me, I am not sure I would be able to if he also wants to keep being friends with her. Such a mess this is. What is the likelihood that he would actually start a relationship/friendship with me just coming out of a relationship with her (if that is what is going to happen) – you said yourself that it is not healthy jumping from one relationship to another. Actually, I do not think he really cares about this – to him this is a game. He is flirtatious and loves to be around women because it boosts his ego and self confidence. Still I feel that he has feelings for me and he certainly does not like it, if he sees that I am somehow not satisfied with the way he acts. He also seems to be very confused. Sometimes he avoids me and at other times I can both see and sense that both I and my opinion matters. That does not mean that he would be romantically interested in me, but let’s just say that I have been told that he thinks about me a lot – in fact all the time also sexually (he is a man – I know – they think differently than women). Anyhow I am throwing the ball here. Could you perhabs tell me what is up and what is down here? Is he involved with Gitte in a relationship (also sexually), how committed are they? If they are in relationship, is he thinking about leaving her? What are his thoughts and intentions with me? If he would be interested in getting to know me better and ultimately building a relationship, would he eventually dump me like he dumped so many other girls? Do you possibly see that he will be interested in getting to know me better in a “descent” way?
On 7th of December we are going to a Christmas lunch party at work. Gitte will not be there, but he will and I will also be going. My intention is to keep a low profile, be nice, but keep a low profile. The weekend 14-16 December (and here goes Sherlock which I know you do not like…) they have another co-occurring event in their calendar. What is going to happen this weekend – do you think?
This has nothing to do with enjoying the journey, but right now there is not so much to enjoy since something is going on between Gitte and Nikola and I do not want to get even more hurt.
I really hope that you will take your time answering my questions as soon as possible? You reply, insights and advise will be highly appreciated as always.
Otherwise I am making slow on the personal side of things, but there is still a way to go ;0) Sometimes it is still hard for me, but I am fighting all I can to shape my new life and also get an idea of a direction. More about that later on. Much love Birgit
I am so glad you tell me this this - for he is not worthy of my love and all that I can give - there is so much more than just sex - that is important, too, but again a friendship is the whole foundation of a relationship. Right now I feel so angry about him, playing with me like this - If he should ever tell me his feelings, I will be very honest with him and tell him how I feel about a man who is "playing on more than one horse at a time" (that is what we say where I come from. But I am also sad about all this - it is such a mess. Pam I know I am not ready for a relationship right now, but one day soon, I hope I will be. Can you see anything ahead?
Much love Birgit
So you are repeating what you once told me - which is ok ;0), I need to complete the work with my coach. I also understand the guides - I just hope that man will show up in the not too distant future.
Another this is - I have been told 3 times now in a month that I have healing abilities and that when I am done with my coach, I am stronger and more robust I should consider doing something about this, e.g. learn Reiki healing - Do you feel / see that I have these abilities or is it nonsense - If I have these abilities, should I pursue this path?
Yes I hear what you say - I want to find me, and do what I am good at - do not worry about that - but I also would like to be with a man with whom I can share my interests with. I am not saying the man is the solution.
And about the healing abilities - I am not sure what you are saying - should I give it a go some time, when the time is right?
Thank you very much for all your support and advice Pam. I will let go of Nikola now - have started doing that emotionally over the past week - which really hurts, but I have to. I already spent too much of my time on him. When I realized that that was what I had to do and that he and Gitte are deeply involved I started shaking all over - my back really hurt the next day because of the tension.... He has to go. I have a call with my coash just before christmas and new sessions start up just after new year. will keep you posted . Lots of things are to to happen at work too since a final decision has been made that we are going to be integrated afterall with the company that bought us. Therefore, I will get back to you on this topic later on. This is all for me now. I would like to take the opportunity to wish both you and your family a merry merry christmas and a happy prosperous new year - take care and much love Birgit ;0) I will rate you as soon as I have sent this.