How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1817
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 82 year-old mother and I are visiting my 4 1/2 year old

Resolved Question:

My 82 year-old mother and I are visiting my 4 1/2 year old (Micah) and his mom at her house in California. My mother and I are staying at a separate hotel. I flew my mother from Hartford to DC and from there we flew out to California. I can only make it out her once a year and I try to stay 1 week when I come (as I am doing this time). Otherwise I visit Micah on webcam to chat with him. Our first full day together here went well and I had fun wrestling with my son, playing the Wii with everyone, and generally having a good time. We stayed from about 10am to 7:30pm for the first day. As we were leaving his mother (a neuropsychologist) asked me if my texting function on my phone was fixed. I said "yes." I thought no more of it. I check my phone several hours later and saw I had received a text from her that indicated she was unhappy with something I said while in front of my son (Micah). A text. Her point may have some validity. That's not what concerns me. What concerns me is that instead of talking to me face-to-face about this incident (which occurred in the middle of the day), she waited to text me a message after I left. After all, I only get out here once/year. I had no idea during our time together that she felt so strongly. Any thoughts on ways to handle this? Thanks.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra : The reason why she texts instead of talking face to face is I feel she doesn't know how to confront issues face to face.
Deardebra : She would rather tell you how she weeks through text to avoid confrontation. But she should feel comfortable enough to tell you hoe she weeks. You have a child together and you with are going to have times where you need to discuss things. Her testing and saying you said something wrong is fine because even though utter was through texts she did tell you how she felt. You wouldn't want her holding her feelings in that would make things worse. Right new this is how she communicates. How you changed this is you instead if answering her by text, you wait and answer her in person. ThIs will help her talk things out. She will then realize you are easy to talk with when it comes to parenting decisions.
Deardebra : She needs to just learn how to discuss things in a new way. I feel you can help her do this.
Deardebra : Not everyone is open about there feelings, sonera people can be shy, they can nite like confrontation,they might have been raised nite to speak up. There are many factors in why she us thevway she is.
Deardebra : This will be a but of a process to change how she communicates, but it is good she does tell you how she feels.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1817
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency