To further clarify her stance, she has been through two prior abusive relationships before being with the man she was most recently a couple with. As I said, he is also my friend, he is not a bad guy. But he has his own baggage, and his baggage is what hurt her for the last year of their three year relationship. She was finished with him, until, during their break-up, he changed back into the man she first fell for. Her and I were never supposed to happen, but we did. For various reasons, but we both feel this incredible pull toward one another.
And now that he's changed, now that my pattern of negativity came to a head at the very moment I should have enjoyed our new relationship, now she's backing away from both of us in confusion. I understand her need to make the "right" choice for her. Even after she broke it off with him, while she still cares for him, it wasn't until I faltered that I was no longer the "right" choice. Because until I hurt her, I was.
Her own baggage, coupled with her being hurt by him and now him trying to make amends, and then my involvement, the love and affection I have given her combined with that hurt I gave her has left her reeling.
On another note (and this may sound cheesy), I feel when certain Bad things are about to happen. And those who I've shared these feeling with when they arrive and see the Bad thing occur when and how I felt it would, have seen it in action. Now, this is the whole reason I've asked my questions at all, because I can feel it brewing and it's around that time I will be away. Generally, this type of feeling for me is very accurate.
That being said, it has been brought to my attention that because I'm rather negative, that these "feelings" could just be something that gets proven right BECAUSE I'm always feeling negative and that bad things happen and it's just possible coincidence.