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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1137
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I am being emotionally abused, called Bitch, Lazy,stupid by

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I am being emotionally abused, called Bitch, Lazy,stupid by people I do not even know, especially men whenever I am out in public, I am hollered at when I drive by. Mind you, I work part-time, looking for a full time job, and get unemployment. I have never needed anybody to motivate me, but not that I am over 55, and suffering from fibromyalgia and arthritis I have my days when I don't feel like getting out of bed, but I push myself anyway. I am tried of people calling me lazy, telling me when I should come home to my apartment and when I should leave it. What kind of personalities is so overbaring and controlling. I live around a lot of younger single and couples who don't even speak to me most of the time when they see me, socializing is impossible. Whenever I am out in public or in my apartment by myself, because I don't accept their aggression and low opinions of me I am being called lazy and they biggest problem is "I don't know how to treat people. They try to justify this because I don't go out enough and don't have a significant other in my life and am a spiritual person who doesn't play games. I am currently on unemployment and working at a strengtheous job and suffering from fibromyalgia. Sometimes, I have so much to do that I feel overwhelmed. How do you maintain a possible attitude and a open mind, when you are around people who obvious think so little of me?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Hi,

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. People can be so cruel and you should not be treated like this. They do not know you personally, so the best thing that you can do is to ignore them and do not take it personally. People try to judge people based on what they "think" they know or cause of social standards. It seems like you are doing what you need to do and being the person that you are. There is nothing wrong with that and you do not need to answer to them. It is best to remove yourself from negative people rather than trying to befriend them. Spend your time with positive people who would be a good influence on you. Also, sometimes alone is better than bad company. You may also consider moving to a fresh new area in order to change your surroundings to a more positive one. Do you think you would want to do or be able to do something like that?

I am$ here to help and will await your response, but please let me know if you have anymore questions or need clarification.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you for getting back to me. That is excellent advise. Removing myself and moving to a new area would be good but i am lock here because of my lease for anothee 8 months. I agree, I am me and i am not deliberately mistreating anyone but trying to continue to take care of me.


Looking for positive people can be difficult but I will try.

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Yes, I agree it can be difficult, but better to have less good friends than a lot of negative ones. You can even try looking into programs at your local library. They usually have free programs and groups that can keep you busy as well as help you to meet new people.

I understand there are still 8 months left on your lease. On the positive side that can give you time to look into new areas to see what will be a good fit for you. You will have more time to prepare and plan rather than needing to do it at the last minute. In the meantime you can continue to do your thing ignoring them while taking care of yourself. If it becomes really bad you can also file a restraining order against anyone that is extremely harassing or threating you.

I wish you well and I will be here for you if you need.
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1137
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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