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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I am seeing ex brother in law he is my ex partners sisters

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I am seeing ex brother in law he is my ex partners sisters ex husband.We both have kids his are 25 21 18 mine are 18 and 11 at the moment no one knows about us as it is a new relationship and we have just having fun. he is worried about the kids finding out and that they will stop talking to him. we both would like it to go further but he keeps getting cold feet i am not sure what to do or if its worth carrying on.
Hi,
I understand how you feel. I can not tell you if it is worth carrying on or not, but the best thing you can do to determine this is analyze the pros and cons.
Think about how you feel for this person and the risks and complications involved. Determine which outweigh the other. Also, him having cold feet all the time also adds to the issues. He seems to be afraid and worried about the complications as well and him backing out is something that may continue to happen even after everyone knows if the responses are not good. If you love someone and are not hurting anyone and not doing anything wrong then I would encourage the relationship, but if you feel it is not that strong yet and will hurt more people than good then that may be something you want to think about. Sometimes we can have fun with someone and a spark can create causing us to have feelings we may have not felt in a long time, but this does not necessarily mean we can not feel this with someone else. The beginning phase is usually good since it is new and refreshing, but in certain situations we need to step back and think if it will be good for us in the long term serious relationship.

I hope you are able to weigh everything and make the best decision for your life. You deserve to be happy and I hope you are able to analyze this well to determine what would make you the happiest in your life. Please let me know if you have anymore questions or need clarification. I am here to help and I wish you all the best.
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