Not sure if this is your area of expertise, but there is also a religious and spiritual aspect to this situation, as my ex-wife and I are practicing Christians, and I have religious issues with divorce and remarriage. Just a secondary concern which is often magnified in religious homes...lady of other part of situation is also a spiritual, committed Christian as well, which just complicates my feelings all the way around...Thanks for your help...
There is some information I need to share with you to give you a cleare picture of the situation I am in.
I spoke with a religious counselor and she urged me strongly to break it off with this woman (Dianne). She has an uneven past, questionable choices in men, some failed relationships, and seems reluctant to answer or be an open book regarding her life. Gaps in her life story, a sudden divorce from her husband of 8 years about 5 years ago, and beginning a sexual relationship (long distance,XXXXX with a man she barely knew very quickly after her separation. Sounds like it but it wasn't an affair. She said it was because her husband denied her sex for most of their marriage and didn't find her desirable and was addicted to porn.
There have been rumors about some interracial relationships she has had at work with a co-worker and a foreign contractor, who was of the Islam faith, which makes me very uncomfortable. Not to sound prejeduiced, but I come from a place and upbringing where certain things were frowned upon...please forgive my candidness but it's part of the story.
She also tends to keep in contact with men she has had prior relationships, but only seems to be friends. She acts as if she truly loves me, is courteous, attentive, loving beyond belief, and seems like a genuinely nice person who has just had bad luck with men.
But something keeps nagging me that something is in her past that I can't get by, makes me feel as if a piano is going to drop on my head. My religious counselor referred to her as a "black widow" and a "Jezebel"...I wouldn't go so far, but she was adamant that I was headed off a cliff, spiritually and financially in the future if I married her. She recently broke it off with me due to my reluctance to commit, but still sends feelers out through text messages occaisonally. I get the feeling she may simply be playing me, and is seeing other guys on the side and only comes back to me if one of those doesn't pan out.
I am still torn and confused...I can pay additional fees if needed for an answer from you....Thanks.