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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi, I have been in a relationship for 5 months with a man,

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Hi,

I have been in a relationship for 5 months with a man, it's been partly long distance, although we lived with each other for a month.

He was moving to my country, however a week before he came he cheated on me with his ex.

When he finally did see me, he was distant (obviously guilty) but never confessed. He continued seeing me but flew back to his former country on a business trip and again hooked up with the ex.

Out of desperation one night because i felt something was amiss I looked at his phone. he had been sexting over a dozen women explicit sexual messages, images and all sorts.

He also was communicating with the ex sexually whilst I was sleeping in his bed.

My question is, why didn't he just break up with me and get back with the ex if that's what he wanted?

Why did he keep stringing me along...?

Lastly judging from all the sexting and the many, many conversations I felt that he didn't really care about anyone but himself, the concept of loyalty and sincerity are just not ideas he understands.

Is this guy a player?
Hi, I am so sorry that this happened to.  you. This guy could have just been a player or could have had more serious mental issues. Regardless if he has mental issues or not he sure does have issues within himself. It is hard to say why he just wasn't honest with you. He could have felt he really  liked you and "wanted his cake and eat it too". He was not thinking of anyone, but himself and was not an accident since this has been going on. He could even have an addiction to these behvaiors that he could not control. This is another possibility. It is hard to know exactly just by this. In any case it is best that you are no longer together anymore since he would need to want to change and seek help through self help or counseling in order to change. Please let me know if I can help further
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Do you think it could be a sexual addiction?


 


The sexting was so explicit and he seemed obsessed with women sending pictures of themselves and the amount and calibre of women was wide and varied....the conversations were so filthy beyond belief.


 


If a man is communicating to many, many women in this way and sleeping with and an ex and myself he's just not capable of really caring about one woman at this point do you think?

Hi,

I do think it sounds like a sexual addiction. If indeed it is then he could very well care about you, but this addiction makes it hard for him to control himself and really has nothing to do with his feelings for you just like a a drug addiction for example. He would need help for this. However, if he is just a player then he may or may not care, but it would be in his own way and not healthy at all.

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