How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy Your Own Question

Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy , Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5752
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Kate McCoy is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

What should i do about my ex girlfriend?

Customer Question

What should i do about my ex girlfriend?

We went out for a year, on and off. We finally broke up during April. Spoke up until May, but stopped talking for a month and a half. During which time she briefly saw someone else and i was diagnosed with depression. She called me during July and we spoke everyday but I spoke to much about my depression and sucidal feelings which scared her. We stopped talking at the beginning of september, but i text her to the end of September because i missed her. Stopped talking to her for about 40 days only saw her at work and didnt speak to her there either. Sent her a text last week with no reply, but saw each other at work and it was the first time we connected for a long time. I text after work on the friday but again no reply and saw her on saturday but didnt say hello. While we always had problems during our relationship, it always felt special and she is someone who i miss and love still. Im not sure if she is seeing someone now, but i know that she still logs onto my facebook account with my password. What should i do?

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 3 years ago.
Hello, I’d like to help you with your question.

It sounds like things in your relationship have deteriorated to the point that you both are no longer communicating, even though you both still seem interested in each other. She is using your Facebook and you still try to talk with her. That shows that both of you are thinking of the other a lot.

It may help you to decide if you still feel the relationship is worth saving. Whatever broke the two of you up would need to be addressed. If you feel you both can do that, then the relationship still has a chance.

If you decide that you can make a go of it, then you may want to make it clear to her that you want to try again. And to do that, you may have to go to see her or write her a letter. That way, she at least sees what you are trying to say. Texting her is quicker but it doesn’t have the same impact as a personal letter or seeing her face to face.

Once you make contact, let her know how you feel. You may want to practice this ahead of time so you can easily say it. Be prepared for her to reject the idea at first. Depending on how she reacts, you can try again.

However, if you decide to move on or your ex won’t listen to you, then you may want to work on letting the relationship go. It is not easy and it takes time. It is ok to grieve over your loss and allow yourself to feel bad for a while. Try getting as much support as possible to help you through. And if you feel that after about 6 months or so you don’t feel any better, you may want to talk to a therapist to help you work out your feelings.

I hope this has helped you.
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5752
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 3 years ago.

If you end the relationship, you may find this resource helpful:


May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer.
Thank you so much!

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Kate, I do not want to break up with her. This girl means everything to me, she is the one person who can change my mood and make me happy even when I'm upset,angry etc. the problem is because of what happened with me telling her my sucidal thoughts I hurt her and scared her and pushed her so far away, while I'm not that same person she still won't talk to me. I think that she might be seeing someone else but I still miss her and hurt everyday. How can I get her to talk to me? I've tried texting her but its very unlikely she will talk to me in person. She pretends to hate me but the fact we were laughing together on Friday and we spoke briefly about the past showed to me that it was just an act and the fact she goes onto my Facebook as me means she is still intrested In me? What can I do?
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 3 years ago.

You cannot force her to talk with you. The only thing you can do is try to be friendly and see if that helps her warm back up to you.

If she is still going on your Facebook account, she may be curious, simply nosy or she may be interested. It is hard to say exactly what she is thinking or feeling. But if she is looking at your account, she is still thinking about you, which may be a good sign.

The only thing you can do is to be as nice and kind as possible. Look for chances to speak with her but don't pressure her. It is up to her whether or not she responds.


JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions