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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi, I would just like a bit of input on what you think my ex

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Hi, I would just like a bit of input on what you think my ex partner could possibly be up to.

I split up wit my partner approximately 6 months ago, he was a very difficult character to live with, he was constantly drinking and used to get angry and the tiniest things. The first time we broke up I moved home for a short while and he would constantly try and make me jealous by telling me that other women wanted him, that people had asked him out since I had been with him, that I was not the best looking girfriend he had ever had etc. Eventually I went back for a short amount of time and left him again, I have never gone back and would never dream of doing so, I changed my phone number so that he could not contact me and the last 6 months have been bliss until a few weeks ago. About 3 weeks a go I felt i was ready to date someone new so set up a profile on a dating website, I had a gguy contact me and and we talked for weeks, I thought we got on great, finally we had arranged to meet up and do something so I sent him my number just incase something went wrong on the night of the date and he needed to get hold of me. Everything was great for a few more days then I started getting more and more messages that just started sounding as though they were coming from my ex. I got freaked out and did not reply to any of the messages there after, even though I was not replying to his messages I still kept getting messages from this guy asking if I was ok, what did I do etc, it really freaked me out so I deleed my account. After 2 weeks of no text messages I thought it couldn't have been my ex as I know he would have text me and started putting it to the back of my mind. Then yesterday, I received a text from his number. Whilst i was living with this guy my mother had sent me my car log book in the post, I never took it with me when I left him as I had forgotten about it. Now this text asked me if I had received his parcel at my address (which he had wrong) and asked me to stop saying bad things (which I had only said to this guy I was messaging on the dating site) I changed my number straight away as I did not want to hear from him, the next day my mother received a text message saying "I have her new number already, she knows I can get hold of it whenever I want it but I don't even want to speak to her, I have a new girlfriend and am in a new place, I just want to know if you have received the letter so I can close this chapter of my life" now considering I have never asked hi to send my log book back or anything doesn't it seem strange that he would go to all this hassle to "close this chapteer of his life"?

jenhelant :

Hi, That sure would have freaked me out as well. I understand why you felt this way. I probably would have done the same thing. Believe it or not people sometimes do these great lengths to close a chapter in their life. He probably wrote you a letter with closure and feels necessary that you read it. This is a very common thing and do not see anything wrong with it. However, if he was really imposing as the guy on the dating site that would be very concerning. Could there be a way that it was a coincedence and maybe he was not the guy on the dating site? You may want to look into that further if you really did like the guy on the site. Also, to know if he really went out of his way to do that. That is serious. If indeed it was him I would be cautious of his further actions even if with someone else. If he stalks or harrasses you then you can get the police involved. I would say to look into that aspect further

jenhelant :



That makes sense, it was definitely him as when i looked back at the dating profile he had changed everything to all my likes and interests and even put something on there that made it obvious it was him... he knows i have know interest in this parcel, it feels as though he is just using it as an excuse to get hold of me, I have no idea why he felt the need to text my mother mother the message he did though

jenhelant :

Yes, that is very scary and horrible that he did that to you. Very upsetting. It is very concerning because he seems to not be in a good state of mind. If he is willing to go that far for that much time. I do not know if the police can do anything about that thus far, but I would bring it to there attention just in case. This seems serious and I would be worried about what he can do next especially since he knew your new number right away. Who knows if it is true that he has a new girlfriend or even what this parcel is. I would be very cautious and skeptical.

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