Hi, I would like to help. Can you tell me how old you are? This will allow me to help you better.
Hello! I am 37 years old
Have you tried anything so far?
I am trying so hard to escape my ex because he is very abusive! I have a couple crushes on these really nice men and I keep getting trapped into my ex's abuse and yesterday lost myself again. I want to date someone new so bad just because the world is so much better then me and my kids see.
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I do commend you that you are trying to get away from your ex and would say to continue to stay away. You are right the world can be so much better than what you are all seeing. You did the right thing for you and your children. Stay away from him. He will just keep you all down and it is dangerous. I understand that you want to meet someone else and I will try my best to help you with that, but before I do I just want to remind you that happiness is not within a man. That may not need to be the only way to stay away from your ex. I know how bad you want someone and for them to treat you good. You deserve that, but sometimes it does take time to find the right person. However, you and your children can be happy and see the world in a different light even without a man.
I have a case open with the police department and need some time to report his abuse is continuing because he is threatening me if I contact the police something will retailate. I am scared of him now because he is so mean. He is the one that left us and why he can't just leave us alone! I have never hated someone since I was divorced in 2006.
I am not worred about happiness because I am by nature happy of myself and family. I just want to date because I don't want my heart and feelings to get lost along the way.
This is terrible. He said if you report it someone or he will retaliate?
I understand how you feel.
I am unsure. I think he will send a police to retaliate from his town
Your feeling are always there regardless if you have a man. Just becareful not to fall into the arms of the wrong person due to wanting it so bad right away.
That is scary situation. You may want to contact a domestic abuse center in your area. They do protect women as well.
Do you have the steps to take in order to make sure the person is not a criminal? or something else? I just thought that dating happens when you talk face to face or phone. But, before I am alone on a date or something how do I make sure he's not a creep?
Yes, but only a little. 12 hours a day
It is difficult these days. Especially online. If you meet someone online then never send them money that is number 1 since there are a tremendous amount of scammers out there.
If you meet anyone anywhere you can run a background check on them online.
You can even go into public records through your local court and surrounding areas to see if there is any pending case on them.
As for the background check you would need to pay for that through a secure site you choose online, but that would tell you their whole history whereas the court sites will let you know what is pending.
Also, when you meet someone you can pick up on signals. Since you have experience with this you can use that for your new relationship to look for anything that may not add up.
Some ways to find someone can be on dating sites, but that is risky, never meet in private, and you can run those checks on them as well.
You can also join local clubs for something you are interested in and meet someone that has the same interest as you.
There can also be programs at your local library and community college some are free.
I would not recommend meeting someone like at a bar. The place where you meet someone alone says a lot about who they are and what they enjoy.
The first guy I like he is the one I can't see any signals..now, he never shows up at work when I am his customer. I really wanted to talk to him but he makes me so shy I clam up. As for clubs, I am in all I can handle and most of the men are smokers or possibly gay. I don't want a smoker. What should I do? This worker that I spoke about is the one I have left but he is nowhere to be found. Maybe, do you think I scared him off if someone spilled the beans that I liked him? I am from a small town and they talk about pretty much everything.
Even a fitness club is good, but need to be picky in there as it would be better to find someone there who wants to be healthy and not just buff to get lots of women.
I don't go to bars just weddings
Fitness centers are so last year
He may have been afraid of your ex since it is a small town.
Could be a possibility. Maybe he will come back. I know it is not easy to find someone. Sounds like your into a lot of clubs already. What about dating sites. Sometimes we end up finding our love in places we least expect it when we least expect it.
I did some business with him and he was the only one that paid attention to me. However, it wasn't my best hairday or my makeup wasn't fresh. He is sweet and kind not stuckup or unprofessional. Will it take more business proposals to get him back? I have one on backup but after that I need some advise to talk more with him.
So that is good if you have the chance to see him again. I would say do your back up proposal and try to make small talk with him. I know you want your hair and makeup to look good, but sometimes its just cause it takes time and not cause you weren't looking your very best. Try making the small talk because that can open more doors to know more about his likes and pastimes. At each meeting you would need to try and do this. If you do not have many meetings with him then you may want to be direct and ask him out for coffee or something you both may like. I know this is risky, but it may be something you may want to try.
You have nothing to lose with it just the answer may be more direct.
Do you have any suggestions? Small talk with someone who is absolutely gorgeous is so hard because he is special.
I can't ask him out. I am scared of that.
The only thing I have left is Bible Study but I am new and feel uncomfortable myself.
Plus, what if he does go to church with his family then I wouldn't look good.
Or we will be different religious affiliations
I do understand that. You can say something like " Have any plans for Thanksgiving" This will give you an idea what he does with his time and also if he is seeing someone. You can also talk about business. Each time you see him the talks can grow more and more. You can then say something like " Any plans for the weekend" This will also tell you more about how he spends his time. Then in these talks you will get a good idea if he is interested or not. You will see is if he answers in an interested way. Does he ask you questions. Does he try and continue or cut it short. Do the conversations get better or remain the same. All these things will tell you which direction it is going then you can ask him out somewhere if he doesn't first.
Is a good ting
How about talking about his job? Will that sound like I am just a full blown customer?
TalSome reason my chat is not
This sound like a hard date to create
Allowing me to type good
I will switch it but worry we can continue
I am sorry worry
I wish it was as simple as delivering him a sausage buscuit and OJ to say I love his body!
I did that already it works also
Don't worry we will continue in a minute
I did it with a summer fling but it wasn't mine I think he was my neighbors
My chat is not wrking well
I have to dock this laptop
Most likely, he will be from a different denomination. So, I will wait to a better opportunity in the future. I will stick to business and take your advise on some small conversations. I hope we will be able to talk longer than a few minutes of my business proposals. He seems so interesting I can't wait to meet him.
Are you available for more?
I just ran into him again and clammed up! I don't know if I can be that agressive to talk to him. Are most women agressive?
His looks and manners make me shy away. This happens when I am attracted to someone. My son almost spilled the beans out and asked me in front of him if he is the one I like now? I told him we would talk later about it. Being his customer makes me feel so good yet so alienated because I don't want to wreck things if my behavior won't cooperate. Will we be dating someday? OMG wish you knew the future.
I almost want to get up to perfection for him just to date him. I would even babysit with him just to spend time together. On one hand, he challenges me to perfeckt myself so he loves looking at me too yet, what can it hurt if I get his attraction factor to heat up? He might be a little promiscuous and not be telling me with his signals. This might be the way to get him to talk to me? What are the boundaries for a slutty 37 year old to "the one"? I want to be "the one"
We don't know each other yet. How can I get a chance before someone else can connect with him during the times I can't see him? I am a busy with people all the time working two jobs and balancing my family and friends. I want him in my circle of friends too
I am out of the decision making because I only see him when he is at work when I go as a customer. I don't ever want to get him in trouble if I visit without purchasing and don't want him to lose his job for visiting with a customer. How to mingle in a work environment?
Why sure if you want to know. Its' a gas station. I think he is the manager.
So compatibility may be lesser than I expected? Thus, Appearrances between us is on the border because communication between the two of us is more important? I can't fix any of these things because of work environment correct? because I am not an agressive woman just deeply infatuated with this man. Do you have any more advise for me to build a deeper relationship with him? I will take one more word of advise before closing this session...I don't want to lose this challenge do you want me to win his heart and maybe his kiss?