She has seen a therapist when her parents got divorced. She went for a few years. she was diagnosed with depression and has been struggaling for a long time with it. she is off medication and does not seem willing to go back on it.
Im my mind she is acting like a baby. I understand that it is a hard time in her life and this is a big change but I cant sit here and let her feel bad for herself because she needs to learn how to deal with change and disapointment.
Depression can be a very difficult illness to cope with. The lack of motivation to do anything to help yourself is a hard symptom to deal with because it prevents the very thing you need to do to overcome the depression.
She either may not be able to help herself or she doesn't want to. Either way, it is going to be difficult to get her to change. That leaves you to decide if you are able to continue the relationship as it is or move on if you feel you need to. It is hard to face that kind of choice but the stress of the situation may not improve as time goes on and that leaves you in a difficult position of making that decision.