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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have what Churchill calledblack dog. Its lonely be

Customer Question

I have what Churchill called'black dog'. It's lonely being the boss for decades. Most people would see me as successful. I regard myself as a disaster on the personal front and my children are paying for my emotional cowardice. I don't want to burden them or my friends . Perhaps this is simply pathetic after rather a combination of adverse circumstances. I don't want any kind of medication.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Churchill was referring to his depression or manic depression, which he overcame. Yes, it is often lonely "at the top" but it has served your family well in some ways, though perhaps they had to suffer emotional estrangement from you (which may be what you are referring to when you say "emotional cowardice". I would not call it pathetic.

When you say that you do not want to burden your children or friends, do you mean with your continued depression, or are you having suicidal thoughts? The meaning isn't clear and I must ask as a mental health professional.

Exercise is one excellent way of dealing with depression because it helps to produce those hormones in your body that resist depression. A agree with your instincts to avoid medications because of the possible side effects. Perhaps you have an existential resistance to taking chemicals to to supplement your own body chemistry. I support you on this, but at present I am not in your position.

May I offer some suggestions:

-perhaps you can afford the time to get away on a trip with your children and try to recapture some lost opportunities or create new memories and heightened positive emotions between your family. You certainly owe it to yourself, and to them.

-as a more direct source of relief, may I recommend a series of treatments with Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. This non-invasive procedures, using electromagnets held against your upper forehead to produce a minute electromagnetic current in your brain, has a very positive and lasting effect on your mood centers. Unlike electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), it does not shock your brain, does not leave memory loss, and is a state of the art treatment.

For further information in book form I recommend two books on the subject available at amazon.co.uk or elsewhere:

Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation: A Neurochronometrics of Mind
(Bradford Books) by Vincent Walsh, Alvaro Pascual-Leone and Stephen M. Kosslyn

AND

Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation by Jesse Russell and Ronald Cohn


Finally, you can lower your depression by changing or supplementing your diet. A wonderful book will be available January 15t, (yes, it is 10 weeks away) but I have read excellent previews of it. It is called:


Vitamin Cure For Depression: How To Prevent and Treat Depression Using Nutrition and Vitamin Supplementation
by Bo H. Jonsson and Series Edited by Andrew W. Saul

or if you want something sooner:

Optimum Nutrition for the Mind
by Patrick Holford


These are my suggestions. You are a strong and inner directed person and I am sure that you can find some help with what I have given you.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Elliott, thanks and I am not really suicidal. Too much of a coward to do that. I am skiing with most of my children after Christmas. They are not kids any more and I had children under 18 for 45 years. I miss not having children around, very much, yes, they benefitted from my financial delivery, but what good has that done?

I suppose what I regret most is spending most of a lifetime and not finding a lady that I am comfortable with, to enjoy the last years, witnh the same happy memories. I made a big mistake when I was young and while the kids were young and dependent and also doing a bit of sport myself, the mistake was obscured, some of the time. That mistake was the emotional cowardice, that has damaged us all, and in all honesty, it was my fault. I had every opportunity to at least Give myselfn a chance of getting it right. The kids were my crutch.

Then with all the other stuff, it grows on me. While I won't bring an end, I would be happy for my mind to be at rest at last.

I will try the magnetic solution. My magnetic bracelet stops my headaches.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Whatever your age it is not too late to find a lady of class and character that not only suits you, but who will accept and be accepted by you children.

The past is done and you have learned lessons, and so have gained value from your mistakes.

I am so glad to hear that you will try the TMS therapy. The best treatment centre in London, if that is where you are located, is Harley Street. If you are in a different part of the country I am sure that they can direct you. Their contact information is:

http://www.psychiatrycentre.co.uk/our-services/repetitive-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation-rtms/

I wish you great success.


Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Hi Peter,

I hope you are doing well and lining up the treatment that you need. If there is anything else I can help you with, please feel free to get back to me.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I have discovered the problem. The blood pressure medication that I was using drove me into depression. Now that I am taking something else, I seem to be perfectly O.K. Good job that I ran out and the veil lifted.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.