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Dr. Tiye
Dr. Tiye, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 46
Experience:  As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted couples therapy and led relationship groups.
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I am lost and no longer know what to do. I am a mother of two

Customer Question

I am lost and no longer know what to do. I am a mother of two and have been married for 6years, my son is 14 and our son is 7. My husband is very controlling and mentally abusive. I just want to call it quites but when i do he changes for a couple of days to a week. I work just as hard as he does and still have to have my own checking account in order to buy what the kids and I need, and when he sees I bought something he blows up because I am spending money that I could have bought more grocerys with. I have to hide and tell the kids to lie on what I buy. He is mean to my 14year old son and VERY hard on him. No matter what I say or do he wont change about it. I have to pay EVERYTHING for the kids from clothes to monthly lunch tickets, school sport and ect., everything I need, everything for the house, all grocerys, all of my bills. He makes a thousand and more than I do a month and he has always believed I can pay for it all plus more. I cant go out with my friends or family with out him because I could be cheating on him. I am just lost and at the end of my rope. My family and friends tell me to leave since I am so unhappy and a marriage is 50/50 not what we do. Please Help ;(
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
Hello, are you able to chat more about this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'm sorry but I believe two experts are trying to answer your question at the same time and I'm having technical difficulties trying to allow her to answer.
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
It sounds like you are in a truly abusive relationship and although it may not be physical, his verbal abuse and tendency to make you fend for yourself is unacceptable and not what marriage is about. It sounds like you have been forced to live this way for quite a while and you do not want to take this anymore. With that being the case, are you ready to wrap your mind around an exit strategy?
Dr. Tiye, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 46
Experience: As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted couples therapy and led relationship groups.
Dr. Tiye and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My oldest is always saying he wants to leave. He is unhappy. My husband also has two other kids from a previous marriage 15yrs and 11yrs. He treats them two like a king and queen, he says its because he has them only two days a week and every weekend and says he has to because they don't live with us full time. I some times think he hates my son and that's why he is so mean to him. I tell him that and he says its not true. Our 7yr old is confused about the whole situation.
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

If he was to change his mind and go to therapy, do I give him a last chance? I have so many mixed feeling, I hate him but yet love him and I am not sure why! He buys me things so I don't leave him and I know that isn't right either. I talk a lot to my son and tell him the pros and cons of us leaving and he likes to stay because we would live in town but doesn't like the idea of living in the country for at least a year for me to get back on my feet.
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 1 year ago.
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