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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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My husband wants me to join in birthday lunches with his two

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My husband wants me to join in birthday lunches with his two older women friends. I don't want to go, but he is adamant we should go. How can I negotiate a no-show or should I just go along, its just for 2 hours and then treat myself to something nice later as a reward.

I would like to help. Can you tell me a little about why you do not want to go and what his reaction was?


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I don't have much in common with them, one always talks over the over and answers for her which I find rude, I actually find it boring and hard work. I also don't want to go because I don't like being told what to do by him. That makes me cross. He thinks we have a good time ? and it doesn't cost us much in effort.

I understand how difficult and boring this is for you, but if you are able to stand it and he enjoys it maybe its best to just go and then do something for yourself later as you mentioned. That way if anything comes up in the future that you really do not want to do even more at least you would have done this already. Also, if you would like your husband to do something he make not enjoy as much as you maybe he will be inclined to do so.

Try and look at the positive of the situation. If your husband enjoys it and wants you there that is a good thing. He wants you to be there and enjoys your company all together. This is why he enjoys it, so maybe there is some good in it. Try going with a positive outlook and then you may have a better time.

Please let me know if I can be of further help!
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