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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 959
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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are you good in relationship between lesbian girls ) if so

Customer Question

are you good in relationship between lesbian girls ) if so i might ask you someth
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  askcounselor replied 2 years ago.
Hi, I am a licensed counselor and do not discriminate based on sexual orientation. What would you like to ask?
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to my couples workshop, where people 18-80 of diverse cultures & orientations have come to explore their questions and find a path of heart. I've counseled both gay and lesbian questioners on JustAnswer, and I cowrote a chapter on LGB relationships for the college textbook I published in 2000, so I also have experience with the effects of the straight and lesbian communities on relationship attitudes within the lesbian community, as well as the individuality of each person. You'll find that there are many counselors here that want everyone to succeed in the relationships they want, regardless of their sexual orientation. Your thoughts and concerns are welcomed with open minds. Ask away!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

well thank you for your time first of all ,but i really didnt like the fact that you think that gay people have any difference in their thinking about the morals in relationships ...they are jsut like everybody else have their feelings and morals ..and their a way more divorces in among straight couples then will ever be with gay couples they actually tend to last forever the women relationships...and im really no trying to hurt my gf never been my intention all the blame i will 100% put on myself ..


but we r not happy not because "im feminime sexy and sophisticated " ,my gf is very smart and sweet and she is a great person ...but she is 19 y.o . and im almost 27y. o. so here is the stone ...she loves to do things that i have already passed in my life ..and it has noth to do with gay or straight people anybody can run into this situation ...


what i really wanted your help with is that...i can handle the situation w my gf ..by putting all the 1000% blame on me no problem ...but thi girl i really liked i dont know hoe to talk to her i have her face book and her cell but after she didnt respond twice i want wait a little and may be wright a letter ...but what to wright in the letter to get her to answer thats the question i really need the answer for ,can you help me with that ..how to at least get her to talk to me in person how? here is the letter i wrote to her ..but i havent sent it ,can you check it and tell me if its good enough or i need to tAKE SOMETHING OUT or i need to add something here it is


 


Dear Alejandra,


I thoroughly enjoyed your company recently at the Sheraton in Puerto Vallarta. I was very taken with your wit and intelligence. Your beauty and warm personality have totally captivated me. And the eyes you have are a hell of a mystery) i really did want spend more time with you ..but i couldnt ...


You seem to be really Sharp ,Classy,private and at the same time open person who actually cares for the feeling of the other people ..
I have a girl friend and she is a wonderful person and we ve been in a relationship for 4 months(you had a pleasure to meet her ) , and its not my intention to hurt her ,neither do i have intention to play with you ...she does know that i really liked you and she is not happy about it ,but neither we are happy in a relationship at the moment because of the age difference i guess and some other things ,
so im not a player ...i really enjoy relationship with a person...not the one time things...
im just not happy in my current relationship ..and since we are not trees we have this unik opportunity to change things around us ... and i tend to use it ..


I dont know what Majo told to Daniel ,i dont i know ,what he told to you about all the situation ...so if i have to defend myself ...i cant ..cause i simply dont know what went in between ... but neither is my intention to do so ...i just want be honest and forward with you and doesnt matter what other people say ..."its all about us" queen said)


What i want do tho is to take other people off this equision for a minute and to have at least one chance to talk to you in person ,as we never had this chance
and i had a feeling, that we had some spark in the eyes when we saw each other ...i might be wrong and misread the signals ..you can let me know right away and it will be the end of it.. just tell me .


But if im right and we have a beautiful connection,why not to give it a chance ?
its a rare occurrence why to let it go and wonder all life what could ve have happened ?
I am usually more prudent than this, but forgive me for throwing all the caution to the wind. I must ask you if you would consider getting together with me sometime very soon, for dinner and drinks, or just coffee, if that is your preference.


I know that I am being forward and hope that you don't find me foolish,
i m only expressing the way i feel toward You and nothing more i can do ,
so im leaving everything else up to you to deside ...,


but please consider my request. This could be a remarkable turning point in both of our lives,
or could just be a short and pleasant meeting for one time.


I would be grateful and delighted if you accept my invitation.



In friendship,


Marina


 


 

,
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.

That's a very fine letter! The point I made when I wrote was that Alejandra may be waiting to see if you will end your commitment to Majo before she responds to you. Of course there's plenty of reason to end a relationship with a younger person when it's not what you really want. I thought it was wierd that the rest of our writings weren't here, until I found out you posted another question. That wasn't necessary, but it works out fine, tho it cost you more.

It sounds like you want to find out if Alejandra is interested in you before you make any statement of your intentions with Majo, and that makes sense, since you don't know whether Alejandra has a girlfriend already or not or whether she likes you enough to want to know you better. I would take out the 3 lines about Majo and Daniel and just ask for the chance to talk privately and learn more about her. I would also not emphasize that you are not happy in your relationship with Majo, but just say that you've just been dating for 4 months and she's sweet but too young for you. You obviously don't want to hurt her any more than necessary, and also not until you have to because you're going to pursue a relationship with Alejandra.

 

I hope it works out the way you want it to. Let me know if there's any more advice you want.

 

 

Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 959
Experience: Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
Dr. Norman Brown and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

oi honestly asked like 5 people already about this situation ...im just feeling like im having one shot with her and if i mess it up ...or she would find me stupid or ..i dont know...


somebody talled me im making to much of it ,when its really easy ..lol but its never easy when its about the relationship you know what i mean ?


after she didnt respond two text messages i took 4 days brake and didnt try to contact her ...i think sunday night around 6-8 pm will be kind of perfect time to send it ..cause sunday its not a party time and people are relaxed after craizy saturdays ...do you think its a right way to go or should i send it in the middle of the week ? thank you again

Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 2 years ago.
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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Professor on Writing Sabbatical
375 Satisfied Customers
Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples