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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Im having a tough time and I need your advice on how to handle the fo

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I'm having a tough time and I need your advice on how to handle the following situation:I worked in a small hospital years ago as a coder in the medical records department--I was there for 14 years. I had a lovely boss who passed away at age 43. Our department was very small--only six women--I was the only coder for the entire hospital--needless to say, I worked my brains out. After my boss died, the administrators decided to ask another medical records supervisor from our sister hospital to oversee our department as well as her own. She hired an assistant to supervise us--this assistant turned out to be a horror--she was an ex-nun who had trouble reading & writing, let alone supervising--she had no medical records experience--she would sexually harass us--she would bully us--she would scream & yell--it was unbearable. We complained to the overseer to no avail. We begged her to let this assistant go. She refused. Since the other ladies were afraid of speaking out, I turned out to be the spokesperson for our office. The overseer didn't like me or the fact I wasn't afraid of her.One day she called a meeting between herself, me, the assistant and the business office manager--all of them proceeded to try to intimidate me, belittle me, threaten my job, tell me I work too slow/don't do enough, etc--I will never forget that day. In the end, I resigned--they made me physically sick with hypertension and I acquired diabetes a month after I quit. A month after I resigned, I was lucky enough to get a per diem job at a local hospital coding--been doing it since June 2001--I love the job! Here's the rub--that "overseer" boss I had eleven years ago was hired by my present boss--as a coder--and she starts on Monday---she was assigned to sit RIGHT BEHIND ME in the small office I sit in to do my work. I haven't seen her in eleven years--but she is always foremost in my mind as the only person I hate with a vengeance--she derailed my career, my finances and my health!! And now I have to work beside her--this is a nightmare!! How do I handle this situation? I don't want to lose my present job--nor do I want to be around this toxic person ever again--now what? I'm making myself sick dwelling on this--I mean, what are the odds I'd end up having to work with this evil woman again? She's a nasty phony person who will do anything to anyone to get ahead (and look where it got her--busted down to an employee without power or status--it couldn't happen to a more deserving person!). How do I deal with this on Monday, the day she starts? I don't want to speak to her or help her--I want nothing to do with her. Thanks for any suggestions!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
WOW Talk about a coincidence!!!
I truly feel for you. I could imagine how that day must have felt for you and now "she is back".

The best thing that you can do is first stop worrying. I know it may be difficult, but try not thinking about it. Enjoy your weekend. Worrying will ruin your weekend, make you sick, and unhappy. What is going to happen or not will not change due to worry.

Go to work Monday with your head raised high. Be proud of who you are and your position. Do not speak to her and show her that it does not bother you. Like she is not a thing in your mind. Do not even give her the satisfaction of your anger. I would just go in work business as normal. She can not ruin your job since she has no power just go and do your part.

In all these years she may have had bad experiences herself and she may have even learned some lessons. She could have even changed. Try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but you have no obligation to her. If she has changed and knows what she did wrong she may even apologize to you. You see where her past attitude got her now, so seems like she was not able to keep her status.

Do not do or say anything that could ruin your present job. Just ignore her if you can and do not allow her to get the best of you. If she does anything new to hurt you I would talk with your boss and explain the situation to him.

I hope this was helpful and please let me know if I can be of further help to you!
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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