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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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what is the 100% way to get somebody to answer you ,at least

Customer Question

what is the 100% way to get somebody to answer you ,at least to find out if they like you or no
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 4 years ago.

Deardebra : You want to make sure to be yourself when it comes to relationships. If you want someone to answer you. You want to make sure the person knows how you feel about them through text, letter, email, phone. There are many ways that people communicate. It is easier today to get someone to answer you. People are some times shy, so it is important the person knows how you feel.
Customer :

can you chat with me ?

Deardebra :

I am available right now to chat if you would like. If you are not available you can ask me any questions you would like and I would be happy to answer them for you.

Customer :

hey how are you

Deardebra :

I am available now if you are online

Customer :

are you online?

Customer :

ughh im always missing you ((( and you seemed to help a lot of people

Customer :

ok im going to wright you my situation and see what think ab it:

ok here is my uneasy situation ,im a lesbian i had a girlfriend for 6 months she is 19 im 26 ,young girls love me a lot i always had yonger girlfriends i was a dj a bartender im sexy and feminime russian girl ,but back to the point ...
My gf is working for political party of democracy and she was invited on the conference to Puerto Vallarta mexico and she could take one friend with her ,so she took me ,along with her went her friend Daniel ,he took his friend also ,her name was Alejandra ,she turned out to be a lesbian very beautiful and smart and i liked her a lot ...first time i saw kind of met her when she came down in the evening to eat with us ,we were all in the same Sheraton hotel and Daniel had his guitar and i played and she really showed interest in me ,she was smiling and this eye contact that can tel you some things too and she played guitar too ...but my girlfriend was sitting next to me so i couldnt do much ...
Later on daniel(i have to say he wasnt aware that im a lesbian,neither he knew that my gf was cause we are very fenime )and his friend that i liked they came down next day ,but my gf told me i shouldnt flirt with people so i was very closed this time with this girl ...but i was feeling she liked me...later on Daniel he expressed interest in me ,he spent a llot of time w me we were playing volleyball talking a lot and stuff like that ...
we all came on one bus and when we were coming back me and my gf were late ,so we couldnt sit toogether and she also got kind of mad with me because she was jelaous about this girl and the only sit i had was right next to daniel and her i set there daniel and her were talking to me cracking jokes she was asking me things and listening pretty close and laughing and smiling and that good stuff ...later sit that w me was empty and daniel set in it and started talking a lot of stuff ,we were listening to the music and talking like friends ,st this time his friend falled asleep and i talled him "Daniel i really like your friend i cant hold it down " he was like "wau really ,(by the way daniel has a gf too)" then he asked do you like her more or me ? wasnt in jelaous way more like a friendly playing way ,i sad "your friend but please do not tell my gf " he said do not worry and i will tell Alejandra ,she likes european girls he said and im russian ) gf was very pissed that he was sitting and taling to me but she was in the other part of autobus ,at some point of timeDaniel tool headphones of Alejandra and sayd pretend like you took it without intention and then you will have a reason to see her agai and ill tell her that you like her i was like "ok",
when autobus arrived it was a late night me and my gf and Daniel took one taxi toogether ,he kissed us goodbuy ,my gf pretended like noth happened but she was pissed next day im wrighting daniel in FB "hey how are you whats up have you talked to alejandra ?" and he was like "oh yes and she ws very interested in you and she gave her phone number so you can text or call her " and i was like wau i texted her i sayd hey how are you remeber me? and answer was "oh yes i do off caurse whats up " she sounded super excited but she was entering her class so she said "can i text you later ? cause im going inthe class " i sayd off caurse ) and she texted me around 8 pm and sayd "send me some russian music to download"i was like sure i will and the i asked her what she likes to do in her free time ? she didnt answer for a while and then she said she was playing tennis w her best friend and it was night so i didnt bother any more ...
Next day i wright Daniel on FB and say "hey whats up "(oh i forgot to mention my gf found out me and him became friends on FB and she was really mad and they work toogether )...Daniel wrighting back"yes " nothing else i say "how are you today ?"
the answer from him was "?"
and then i was like
-"do u want coffee im inviting " no answer
-are you ok? no answer
are you mad for something no answer

so i texted his friend Alejandra "hey how are you ?" no answer
do you want come out and have beer this weekend ? no answer
i sent her a friend request in FB no answer ....after that my gf took headphoes that i took and gave to daniel and sayd "if you want a russian gf look in the internet and tell your friend he same "...and daniel showed his phone and sayd "look i dont need her she is texting me "....
ok after that passed one day ...and i dont know what to do IM SOOOO LIKING THIS GIRL ANDI KNOW SHE LIKED ME TOO ...i saw it in her eyes in her smile in everyth ...and she was the one who passed me her number ..and she did to her friend she ws very interested in me ...and she sounded happy when i texted her ...
so what should i do ,what can i text her what you advice me to talk to her she is a lawyer very 24 y.o. very pretty ,smart w ambitions girl ,me too lol...but what to do ?

how to get her to answer i gave it 4 days break after she didnt answer now im thinking to send her this letter can you read it and tell me if you think its a good one or ahouls i take someth out or should i add something :

Dear Alejandra,

I thoroughly enjoyed your company recently at the Sheraton in Puerto Vallarta. I was very taken with your wit and intelligence. Your beauty and warm personality have totally captivated me. And the eyes you have are a hell of a mystery) i really did want spend more time with you ..but i couldnt ...

You seem to be really Sharp ,Classy,private and at the same time open person who actually cares for the feeling of the other people ..
I have a girl friend and she is a wonderful person and we ve been in a relationship for 4 months(you had a pleasure to meet her ) , and its not my intention to hurt her ,neither do i have intention to play with you ...she does know that i really liked you and she is not happy about it ,but neither we are happy in a relationship at the moment because of the age difference i guess and some other things ,
so im not a player,im not a dishonest person ...i really enjoy relationship with a person...not the one time things...
im just not happy in my current relationship ..and since we are not trees we have this unik opportunity to change things around us ... and i tend to use it ..I would rather said all that to you in person ...but again i couldnt and it wouldnt be fair to the person im with cause i had to tell that that to her first before telling that to you ...

I dont know what Majo told to Daniel ,i dont i know ,what he told to you about all the situation if i have to defend myself ...i cant ..cause i simply dont know what went in between ... but neither is my intention to do so ...i just want be honest and forward with you and doesnt matter what other people say ..."its all about us" queen said)

What i want do tho is to take other people off this equision for a minute and to have at least one chance to talk to you in person ,as we never had this chance
and i had a feeling, that we had some spark in the eyes when we saw each other ...i might be wrong and misread the signals can let me know right away and it will be the end of it.. just tell me .

But if im right and we have a beautiful connection,why not to give it a chance ?
its a rare occurrence why to let it go and wonder all life what could ve have happened ?
I am usually more prudent than this, but forgive me for throwing all the caution to the wind. I must ask you if you would consider getting together with me sometime very soon, for dinner and drinks, or just coffee, if that is your preference.

I know that I am being forward and hope that you don't find me foolish,
i m only expressing the way i feel toward You and i would love to get the same from you , and nothing more i can do ,
so im leaving everything else up to you to deside ...,

but please consider my request. This could be a remarkable turning point in both of our lives,
or could just be a short and pleasant meeting for one time.

I would be grateful and delighted if you accept my invitation.

In friendship,


am i being to straight foerward or no what do you think ?

Customer :


Customer :

are you online

Customer :

i see ou helped a lot of people ...that s why i really wanted your opinion on my case i appreciate it in advance

Deardebra : I see you have rated me poor service. I have been trying to catch you online so I can help you in the way that you need. I am here to help you and I am you
Deardebra : Here to assist you with this problem. I am going to assess what is going and give you my advice.
Deardebra : When I am done with assessing the issue. Could you please rate me again.
Deardebra :

When you wrote to Alejandra you told he that you had a girlfriend and that she is wonderful. You were very honest with telling her how you felt. But you also said that you were not happy in your current relationship. I feel that Alejandra would be worried and scared to get involved with someone that has a current girlfriend. She would be concerned that if she invested all her time getting to know you and fall in love that you might not leave your girlfriend.

Deardebra :

I am sure she wi wondering why you are still in a current relationship with your girlfriend if you are not happy. I want you to think of your current relationship because some times when something is missing you tend to look outside the relationship.

Deardebra :

I want you to think about what is missing and if it could be fixed. Alejandra could be someone that you image as the perfect woman, but you would need to spend more time with her in order to figure out your true feelings.

Deardebra :

It is important that you look at your current relationship and ask yourself this important question. Can you picture your life without your current girlfriend? If you woke up tomorrow and she was no longer your girlfriend how would you feel. I feel that Alejandra knows that you would have to go through a break up in order to move on with her and I feel she is scared that you might still have feelings for your current girlfriend.

Deardebra :

I want you to really think about what you are looking for in a relationship? What type of person are you looking for that you can spend the rest of your life with, it is important to know exactly what you want.

Deardebra :

I am sure you look for certain qualities in a person and Alejandra has qualities that sparked your interest, you sound like you had an instant attraction too her.

Deardebra :

But I want you to make sure that this is what you fully want, because it would mean breaking p with your current girlfriend. Some times what happens is you realized you love the person you were with all along. This is why you really have to think about what you want. If you want to give this a chance with Alejandra or if you want to stay to work things out with your girlfriend. You are very honest and that is key in a successful relationship. Admitting you had feelings for someone else was very honest.

Deardebra :

I feel she is not answering you because she doesn't want to be that person that break two people up. She doesn't want to be the cause. If you were single I don't think there would have been any problem.

Deardebra :

You talk very positive about your current girlfriend and Alejandra could be wondering why you are not staying with her and trying to move on. Maybe you should explain why you are not happy in the relationship, why you found her to be someone that you could see a life with.

Deardebra :

I am sure Alejandra has a lot of questions why you want to leave your current situation.

Deardebra :

I am here to help you and answer all your questions. I want to guide you in making the best choices for your life. If you could please rate me again, I am here to help.

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