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Dr. Tiye
Dr. Tiye, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 46
Experience:  As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted couples therapy and led relationship groups.
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My girlfriend has a big box in the closet that has different

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My girlfriend has a big box in the closet that has different shoe boxes in it. In the different shoe boxes each one is a different ex boy friend containing things that remind her or things from that person. Am I just being jealous in some way or really not sure how I feel about it but it upsets me Is it normal. I really don't understand why or what's the point of having this stuff. I don't have little reminders or things from my past relationships. My past relationships are in my past and I've moved on. I guess my question is an I wrong for letting this upset me.

Dr. Tiye : Hello, the situation that you describe is one that would be questioned by most people, men and women alike, in relationships. My suggestion to you is to look at the big picture. Does she at all make you feel that she is yearning for or thinking about any of her exes? Does she ever compare you to them? Is the relationship satisfying to the two of you? Are you both happy, do you enjoy each other?
Dr. Tiye : If the answer is yes to these questions you probably have little to worry about. Some people are simply sentimental and like to keep items from all parts of their lives to remember as they get older.
Dr. Tiye : Does she also have old pictures, report cards, drawings, sports stuff, etc?
Customer: Yes we love each other very much I'm very happy with her. She still talks and hangs out from time to time with her exs. Or used to not so much anymore. No she doesn't compare me to them and as far as I know they pretty much stay in the box. It's just weird to me. I don't understand it. That's why I'm trying to find out if I'm the one in the wrong or should feel how I do
Customer: Yes she has every note ever written from high school thousands of pictures and different stuff from her past
Dr. Tiye :

There you go, she is a keeper.....most likely she'll even be a scrapbooker when she gets older if she's not already:)

That sounds like further proof that you have nothing to worry about. Its healthy to remember our past and not simply try to erase it out of our memories. We are a combination of every experience that we've ever been through which makes her the person you love today. If you are happy, I would not worry about it.....they are in a box, you are in her life.

Customer: Yes she's a scrapbooker lol
Dr. Tiye :

See, no worries! enjoy your relationship!!!

Customer: So what do I do about me how it makes me feel. I think I'm just being a bit jealous. How do I control that or get past it
Dr. Tiye :

Remember how much she loves you and how much you love her and enjoy what you have. You don't want her to be caught in her past, you shouldn't be either.

Dr. Tiye :

I have to step out for an hour to see a client, if you have any more questions I will answer them as soon as I get back

Customer: Ok thank you. I do feel better
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