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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1146
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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OK... Since you people are likely the best out there... I

Resolved Question:

OK... Since you people are likely the best out there... I have a general question for you. this involves online dating (also including the international site of loveme.com). I have had the following profile up for a while and gotten few responses and mainly the not interested type or what turns out later to be relationship fraud... I was wondering what, if anything I am doing wrong within it. If you could take your time review and critique it would be appreciated... I will afterwards include my generalized intro letter... which I use... Thank you for your assistance here. Jon

My self-summary
Hmm, about myself. What a question in all truth…

As I see myself in a relationship and what I would like…
I want to be the caring man in your life. The one who is able to understand your feelings; to be emotionally supportive of you; and understanding of you. I want to be the one that is able to unconditionally love you; through the good times and bad. The one who massages your shoulders, back, legs, and feet. The one who consoles you when you are suffering from an illness. I want to be the one who you are able to be honest with; trust with anything, and be intimate with. The person who helps you develop in all your possible ways. The person who you think will be a good father for your children. I want to be the one you want to cuddle and make love to. I want to be the one who you want to be with in the long run. The person you want to grow old with.

In return, I am also looking for the same.

I really am only looking for a "One" in my life. I am actually sincere and serious about this. I really am against playing relationship games.

I like it when people are able to share feelings and emotions. It actually is very good way to create a bond. I'm looking for a committed long term relationship with a woman, who we are share our lives together with.

Having read this far, send me a note only if you are one of the serious and sincere people out there who is ready to think about things. Also, if you have read this far, looked at my profile, etc. and are not interested, please just send me a tell saying "not interested" so I can take you off my list of potential people that maybe that "One". I really do think that emails and such will be useful before we meet in these regards.

I'm really am just one of the stereotypical "nice guy" beta males that is also out there. Downside, I really do snore.

In so far as dating goes…
I personally would like to get to know you online for a while, prior to meeting with you in person and dating you. I think it can be easier to get acquainted in this manner, before we even decide if we want to meet. It can work as a somewhat easy to use buffer; and as an easier way to get to know each other rather than the standard dating procedures. I think a first date, after we get to know each other online, should be a fun, quiet, and relaxed day activity of your choosing where we can get to know each other much better.

Hobbies…
1) I really do enjoy learning, imagining, and creating things.
2) I like to play around with computers, Internet, writing, photos, mmorpg, etc.
3) I enjoy the useful outside sports (fishing, hunting, camping, etc.)
4) My musical taste is very eclectic; and I also enjoy musical mixing and electronic musical composition (even though I do not play instruments).
4) I am able to fix almost anything I set my mind to; and can do just about anything I desire to do.
5) I haven’t had a TV hooked up in over 7 years, and have little time for professional sports and non-educational programing. TED, youtube.edu, Lecturefox, some sci-fi, etc. are far more interesting to me than mainstream crap.
6) I haven’t bothered with the local newspaper in years either since I get most of my news online, and it really is far more relevant and less bias.
7) I far prefer Mac based computers to Windows based computers, as there is so much more one can do with Macs; and I would be very happy to show you if you wanted. It is actually interesting how loyal Apple users are. After you switch, I doubt you will want to go back.

Educationally…
1) Graduated High School in a small town with honors.
2) Went to an Excellent Private University immediately afterwards. Majored in Philosophy and couldn’t see the point to being there. Dropped out in my sophomore year.
3) Worked in sales for about 2 years.
4) Decided to enter the trades as an apprentice electrician and completed my training as a Journeyman Electrician with honors.
5) I actually have been an adjunct professor in the trades (though I know better than to do that again).
6) Worked in the trades for around 15 years; and due to the economy decided to return to college to finish up a Math/Engineering degree. When you return as an older student; it really is a lot harder than if you are fresh out of high school.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
I think your profile is great. You sound like a very honest guy. You know what you want and like. You also know what you want in a women and in a relationship. I really don't see anything wrong with it. I think it actually is very good. You also sound like an intelligent man that is not naive to the world and media.

Was there anything in particular that you were worried about or not sure of in your profile post?
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1146
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
Jen Helant and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Quite honestly I appreciate your assistance there. It does help improve my self efficacy a lot. If you would be so kind as to review my generalized intro letter that I use it would be appreciated as well. This is the one I use for international use i.e. Loveme.com I figure they do basically what I am looking for in all truth. I have almost fully given up on the national ones.


Jon


 


Hi ,



Just wondering how you are doing today. I hope things are going well for you. Somehow our paths crossed on this amazing tool we call the Internet. I looked at your profile and you seemed lovely to me. I really am just looking for a committed long-term relationship (marriage). I was wondering if you wanted to converse with me through this amazing tool called the Internet before we physically meet for the first time. There are so many options that I have available to me that you can basically choose however you would want. I really would like it if you choose to correspond with me by way of the email system at first. Later on we may evolve into IM, then web cameras, headsets, etc. if you have them available to you. It will allows us an opportunity to get to know each other better prior to making any real decisions in case we wanted to. If that goes well for both of us we could decide if we really do want to meet to decide if we really are interested on the long term together, (meaning marriage) etc. I would much rather have you come to me here to be at my side. I listed a considerable amount of information on my profile page to make it easier on you to contemplate your decision towards me. I really was open and honest there for that reason. I really am quite serious in my intentions. I am just looking for a good and equal life partner (not a fling, affair, etc.). A slightly checkered past does not bother me; as long as you are actually honest about it with me, and it may add to my interest in you. I do apologize for my bluntness and lack of romantic nature here, but I think that this makes it far easier on both of us. I really do not want to fruitlessly invest your time and energy, or mine. I have already stated a lot about myself upfront. Send me an email later on after you have taken time to read my profile to see if I actually am interesting to you, and please tell me more about yourself. We can also assume that other people have contacted you, and that others have contacted me as well. Let us see where it leads from here.



Jon

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.

I think it is a good opening email. It gets to the point to avoid and eliminate ones that may not be a good match. I think it sound great. Just one thing if someone reads it quickly the last part to 'where it says' read my profile to see if I actually am interesting" people by accident may understand "to see if I am interested in you" I know what you wrote makes sense and is correct and great, but someone could get mixed up if they do not read it carefully. I am not saying you need to change it. It would work and be fine, but just something maybe to think about to see what you think would be best!

But overall I liked it!

Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1146
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
Jen Helant and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Jen Helant
Jen Helant
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I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.