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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I found out that my boyfriend made arrangements to visit a

Customer Question

I found out that my boyfriend made arrangements to visit a prostitute. He says he was not sure that he could go through with it, had never done it before and we both admitted that our sex life is dull. However I feel betrayed and am not sure if I trust these statements. I want to know more about how he made this decision but he said that he doesn't feel like talking about the details would be productive. Is this relationship over?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

Your boyfriend is sending you a strong message by going to pay for sex with a professional, and put himself AND YOU at risk for STDs.

You said that you found out about it, rather than him telling you. That was fortunate because it is good for you to know, to protect yourself emotionally and health-wise.

If you and your boyfriend want to salvage this relationship, then I strongly urge you to go to a marriage and family therapist, one that you both feel comfortable with. You must learn how to communicate better with him, if possible.

You can see a large list of therapists near you by going to www.psychologytoday.com then clicking FIND A THERAPIST, then entering state and city. If you are so inclined you can "shop" for one together, looking at pics and bios.

If nothing else, then this could be the best way to find closure in this relationship if you don't want to salvage it and make it work well.

If he doesn't want to do this, or doesn't want to talk to you, then the message is clear: he doesn't really want to try anymore, and you should follow his lead.

I wish you great success in finding the best solution to your differences.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.