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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 846
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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I recently moved to a country for work, and my culture varies

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I recently moved to a country for work, and my culture varies drastically. I moved to Dubai and there are lots of different nationalities. So people tend to be reserved. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment. Yet i find myself with a very high sex drive, we all have our sex drive and as humans need to have some sexual intercourse to relieve it. Unfortunately i can't find anyone who i can have a decent relationship with here, it seems all different and weird to me, i recently been dating a woman of complete different background, and the sexual intercourse is not satisfying at all. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. How to deal with sex drive and accept the fact that sometimes you just can't.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Norman Brown :

I would think there aren't very many women available for casual sexual relationships in Dubai, and the professional kind of women would be an option I'd be very cautious about before testing that out.

Dr. Norman Brown :

Self-pleasuring is good for your body if it's not carried to extremes, and fequency of sexual release normally declines when adequate partners aren't available. What is your nationality of origin?

Dr. Norman Brown :

I'd like to help you, and I've taught students and counseled some Arabs from the gulf region, but I'm not knowledgeable about how to meet women open to sexual relations with foreigners. I'm actually going to visit a German-American faculty colleague after the movie I'm going to who worked in the Arabian Peninsula for many years. So I will ask him for his thoughts about sexual relationships in Dubai. I'd say getting touched (massage can perhaps be purchased) and friendship are approximations. But I'll get back in a few hours after I see him.

Customer:

Hey Dr Norman, I appreciate your generous response. Honestly, I'm not trying to have a casual encounter with an Arab woman. I do understand they are a bit more religiously reserved than others. I myself am Arab on my mothers side and white on fathers. I lived in Oregon for almost 5 years, and it was a joy. I'm not against a casual relationship, i do believe respect is a must and sometimes casual relationships develop into something more. Even though my casual relationship in Dubai would be with expats and not locals due to their obvious culture, even expats here tend to change when they arrive. Dubai changes People, can't wait for your advice from your friend, do appreciate your time to help. Thank you.

Dr. Norman Brown :

I have to admit I failed to visit my colleague after the movie. The movie was SO BAD (supposedly a muddied up fiction like early Scientology with fake "processing" scenes that were totally unconvincing for a real therapist like myself, though there was some convincing love-energy between the leader and his client), and I was the only person in the theater, that I snuck into another film next door to get some more money's worth and it was too late to call by the time I left for the night. I'll talk to him some time tomorrow. I think, though, that I'm going to have very little to offer you for your question.


 


I wonder if getting familiar with student gathering places around the universities would be a good way to get some greater variety in people. I taught a psych of relationships course for 21 years, and my college has 8 to 1 male/female ratio, so I'd advise the guys to go to functions at the local state college, the community college, and the religious college out west with high female/male ratio--but they still had to have a reason to go there. I'd advise going for desirable activities in groups in hopes of meeting somebody else who likes the same activity. Looking for companionship and friendship is ultimately more fulfilling than looking for sexual relationships, because you're not as restricted in what you're hoping to get, and you're building an interpersonal network. It's possible then to score an interesting conversation, male or female, and to learn about a wider circle of people, without counting yourself another failure every time you don't score a potential sex partner. It's similar to getting massage, or even sports team events as physical stimulation, and broadening your ways of enlivening your off-work time.

Dr. Norman Brown :

PS. I talked with my colleague tonight, and he said "the best thing to do is to take vacations away from Dubai and find a girlfriend somewhere else." For "the religious police may monitor any woman trying to have a romantic or sexual relationship and she could end up having "prostitute" stamped onto her passport." That may be from olden days 20 to 40 years ago, but you're not offbase to mention the chilling effect that living in that environment has on culturally unapproved m/f relationships.

Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 846
Experience: Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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