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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1140
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Last year, I had a co-worker who I had a good rapport with

Resolved Question:

Last year, I had a co-worker who I had a good rapport with for 6 months. When I say rapport, I mean that we strictly had a good working relationship. Anyway, since we had a good working relationship, in the month of December, I gave her a Christmas card that said "O Holy Night" on the outside and on the inside of the card it said "The Beauty Of That Holy Night Is The Gift Of God's Eternal Light That Shines For All To See. May His Light Shine On You At Christmastime And Always." And the card also listed The Bible verse Isaiah 6:3 which says "The Whole Earth Is Full Of His Glory." To my surprise, the next thing I knew was that I was called to the carpet because she had complained to my supervisor that I was harassing her and flirting with her. When I explained to my supervisor that it was just a gesture of trying to love my fellowman (neighbor) and that it was just Christian love, which The Bible commands us to do, my supervisor said "well just never give greeting cards to co-workers of the opposite sex unless you know them very well." I thought in my mind "Give me a break!" My question is this: Was what I did really out of line?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
I do not think what you did was out of line. I would just be cautious about giving religious cards if you do not know their religion. It may be best to give a card that says "Happy Holiday" that way you will cover yourself.

However, what they are complaining about is harassment and flirting, which I do not see at all how they got that message from that card. That is very strange that the lady would have complained about that. As for your supervisor I believe he is just trying to keep the peace and make her happy to avoid any potential negative attention to his business since people sue due to sexual harassment, so he could just be being overly cautious to protect himself and make her happy.

I do not think you did anything wrong except maybe need to be more cautious about the religious aspect as I have mention, but it is clear to me that you were not flirting. Sometimes people and things in this world doesn't make sense, but try not to let it keep you down and stop you from doing nice things.
I wish you the best!
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1140
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Jen Helant
Jen Helant
Counselor
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I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.