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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have a friend, not only friend really, wouldve known for

Customer Question

I have a friend, not only friend really, would've known for about two years. We saw each other and spoke constantly. She also worked for me as a personal attendant to assist me with things I could not do because of my handicap.

I don't believe our relationship was based solely on money for many reasons, one of which was she often visited me in the hospital, shared personal information and was concerned for my personal welfare above and beyond what one could normally expect with this kind of relationship or even the nurse patient relationship in the hospital.

But, since she left and started school full-time and just informing me that she may be expecting, my friend has been hard to reach, never returning phone calls, e-mails and acting unlike herself. I'm not sure whether or not she was happy about the news she was pregnant. I would bet she wasn't because who would keep her from going to school and having a career.

So, how should I approach our relationship? Should I be upset that she is not or refused to talk with me, forget about the past and support her or what?

I know her actions may be due to the fact that her husband is kind of controlling

Anyway, I would appreciate any advice
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
If she is in a relationship and now pregnant you may consider backing off or allowing her to spend this time with her partner. Being pregnant under any circumstances is stressful but it is also a chance to bond with your partner. They may find themselves closer due to this experience. I would allow her to show you if she is willing to salvage this friendship. She knows what she wants. If she has distanced herself from you then she has made the decision for you. Her actions say that she is focused on her marriage. I would not concern myself with her pregnancy or her decisions. She is nonverbally saying she wants space. Wait her to contact you. If she doesn't that send a clear message too.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I suppose you're right and figured so much


. Should I feel hurt that she has not contacted me. After all, my concern and repeated attempts to contact her was because of her telling me how uncomfortable or not happy she was with the news.



I don't know, it is just hurtful and I guess I'm being selfish to feel this way that she has decided to cut me off.


Now, how do I react if and/or when she decides to contact me again


?



Thanks



I suppose you're right, I suppose you're right

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
For now focus on just letting this go. She is focused on her relationship. If she calls you again consider that this isn't healthy for you which is what is most important
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


You want me to consider


Your suggestion is to cut her off? That is really depressing. After all, I only have one friend and she was it. Now I go through life with no friends??


I hope you're wrong. Because, it's taken me many, many years to find one!

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
It is depressing to end a relationship but sometimes you have to hurt now so that it isn't worse later. You can always make new friends and some will come your way. She is focused on other things right now as hard as that is to remember. I would hold onto hope that she will refocus and friendship is possible but also know that you may have to make efforts to find a friend. It isn't impossible
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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