I am 23 years old; my boyfriend is 47. We’ve been dating for 2 years. He isn’t by any means my first boyfriend. He is divorced with two young children. However, he is the most kind, honest and caring man I’ve ever dated. He has treated me better than any of my past partners have. Neither of us are bothered by the age gap, as we are similar in character (I’m mature for my age and am not as “wild” as most people my age and don’t party, go “clubbing,” etc. I would say my interests are comparable to that of someone in their mid-thirties). However, he works a lot. He owns a construction company and spends numerous overtime hours managing his employees, doing house calls, etc. I am not bothered by this in any way and have come to accept this. We have not met each other’s family members, yet. Our relationship is progressing at a slow pace, but is progressing nonetheless. Overall, I’m satisfied with my relationship and have hope for the future. However, there’s a problem: my mom. My mom is a re-married divorcee, is 60 year old and is very, very overprotective. She is unhappy with the fact that he doesn’t spend as much time with me as she feels he should (because of his work) and doesn’t understand how he can be so legitimately busy. As a result, she thinks he’s a scoundrel and has made numerous inaccurate, negative presumptions about him. She has telephoned him for the first time to request a meeting with him alone and to question him about his motives. She’s not aware of his age. I’m terrified that she’ll refuse to accept him on that basis alone. Most of all, I’m worried that her meddling in my relationship and, basically, “policing” my relationship will drive my boyfriend away. How do I stop her meddling and try to maintain both my relationships with my mom and my boyfriend?
Yes, I do
My mom seems to think that any man who is too much older than me is simply a "predator"
Yes, I believe so
I agree; she said that her meddling is simply in order to satisfy her concerns. But it's frustrating.
She was in her early thirties; my dad was about 10 years younger than her. They had a whirlwind romance and got engaged after 2 weeks of dating. He turned out to be a cheater, but despite her knowing that, they stayed married for several years and ultimately divorced.
She had told me that she simply wants to "save me from tears later on"
Yes, very much. Thank you.