How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I went on 2 dates with my ex after a 4 year break. He went

Customer Question

I went on 2 dates with my ex after a 4 year break. He then went away for a week and phones and texts me everyday while away and phoned me when he got home. I was near his house out with friends last night and he said call in on your way home and i did. We talked but still no mention of date 3 or no kiss etc. should I be worried or am I just being impatient. I feel more strongly for him than last time but also confused. I'm so anxious about does he like me and want to date me I can't work out my true feelings for him. He texts me all day everyday and calls me too. He said he regretted breaking up before and wanted to make things right. I am impatient and keen to have a partner, im 38 and he is 41. I don't wanna mess up what could be great but I need some answers. I don't know how to handle this!!!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

Your ex wants the same as you do and does not want to mess it up this time. He is afraid you will reject HIM and so he is going very slowly. He does not try to kiss him because he is afraid of being rebuffed.

He has already stated his intentions: that he regretted breaking up before and wants to make things right.

He stays in constant touch with you. I think he is deeply in love with you and does not want to mess anything up and that is why he is being so cautious.

Be patient. Show him a little bit of body language Stand a few inches closer, look into his eyes when you speak with him. Speak softly and warmly. He will come around,.

I believe that you and he will be back together, but this time it will work. out.

Keep moving forward. You will succeed.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I just wish he could share with me how he feels. I need some reassurance about "us"! Or I need him to arrange to see me again. I nearly rang him yesterday to ask where we stand but when he called me back I had to make an excuse up about why I called him. Not knowing is causing me great anxiety. I'm struggling to trust him I thing because of how he ended things last time. I was left thinking I'd done something wrong and he said not it wasn't me he was just stupid and regretted ending things. How do trust him again? To be fair he's not put a foot wrong this time but my anxieties are taking over!
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear Linda,

Anxiety is such a strong force, and so is curiosity.

Go out with him again. A romantic dinner with a bottle of wine might loosen a few inhibitions and fears on your part and his. "Where you stand" is not really an intellectual concept, but rather an emotional one. It is pure feeling and you will know if you are ready for that kiss or not. That ought to be your barometer.

To me, it seems that you are a couple that are in a process of mending. Your husband is the most sensitive link and needs more time then you. He will respond well to a little bit of encouragement. Try not to scare him off while giving him enough encouragement to keep his interest.

If you continue to build this relationship back, as you are now both in the process of learning to trust each other and trust yourselves as well. As long as you continue to move forward then you can have confidence that you are getting closer to your goal.

I wish you you courage and patience.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry I didn't make it clear...we were never married just dating previously! I think perhaps he's waiting for a signal from me and I'm pushing him away because I'm scared of getting hurt again
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear Linda,

Sorry for the time delay. It is 6 hours earlier here.

I think that you just answered your own question, in a sense. If you want to get with him you will have to give him a bit more encouragement.

However, he is also reticent because HE TOO is scared of being hurt again.

That is why this is proceeding so slowly. You need to help him have the confidence that you want this to work and he will slowly begin to open up.

As an "observer", at least through your words, I see a romance that is almost ready to burst forth but each side is holding back. If you hold back too long, one side or the other can become discouraged, and the whole thing falls apart. It is like a boat, dead in the water. Someone needs to grab the oar and propel it forward, but each one is afraid to rock the boat for fear of tipping it over.

I do suggest that you move carefully forward. Do not confront him or ask him for a decision, for he is stilling trying to form one. Just help him along by being positive and I believe that you will succeed.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and the window of opportunity may close.

I believe you can make it happen in an easy and gentle manner, and for this I wish you wisdom, courage, and patience.


Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Counselor
7663 Satisfied Customers
35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.