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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hello

Customer Question

Hello
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 4 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

How could I assist you?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please join the chat and or specify your question?

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

hello

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

i had some questions regarding someone i am dating

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please could you state your question?

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

i have been dating this woman for 5 months . in the begining she memtioned that see wanted to take it slow because she has been in some bad relationships. she caught her ex cheating on her and the guy before that she was engaged to amd it fell through.

we go out almost every weekend. we have gone outof town we kiss etc. am i waisting my time or is this going to grow in to a real relatioship

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

there is more to it but thats summing things up

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do not think the scenario you depict shows any healthy chance for you around this person.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

what do you mean?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe taking it slowly would be the best approach as long as you feel comfortable with it, feeling

it is worthy, understanding her present issues from past painful experiences.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

i guess what i am getting at is in taking it slow is it even worth it?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Some people in your shoes would consider it worthy because of what they feel and the compatibility they may find with the other person.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Other people in the same scenario would not be able to continue with it, because they do not experience the necessary affection nor compatibility with the other person and feel hopeless about it.Then pushing themselves wouldnot help.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For this you need to be totally honest towards yourself and her, clear about what you need and expect from each other and if you could play a healthy and fulfilling role together or not.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If any of you do not feel able or willing to work on that because of the way you feel, then it would

be wise not to continue.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

ok, thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If she find herself trapped by feelings from previous relationships, and truly wants to get better and able to develop healthy relationships in the present, then she needs to consider individual counseling, to heal from previous issues and be able to trust again. If she feels she needs more time to trust even more anyway, you are the one who needs to decide if it is what you also want and are willing

to afford here.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

thats true i appriciate the advice.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you. Take gentle care and consistent action., Bye for now.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

there are days when its good and things are great communcation.. etc then i dont know it like things are distant

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

its weird its like we are in an unoffical relationship

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I recommend you to always promote and initiate open and honest communication, since it is trough it that you could truly know how you feel with each other, what works, what doesn't and how to work on making necessary changes as possible. The same way you would be able to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is not working for both of you if regular honest dialogue remains.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Discuss about your core needs and expectations, what you are willing to do and truly want to do to make it work, and from there you would know if it is worthy and healthy to stay and for how long or not.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please refle

ct on it and feel free to contact me for any further support.

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

hello

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hel

lo

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

im sorry i stepped away for a sec

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

ironically last night without me saying anything she brought up that we needed to stop dating a just be friends

JACUSTOMER-mh6t1f3c- :

hello

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do believe this is the best considering the whole situation. Please do focus on taking good care of yourself being consistent with what you expect and need from a romantic relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust. Please feel free to rate my support if you think it was useful. Take ca

re.

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