Kate thanks for your reply. Do you think it is best to just stay away - I know he is in pain and I know is history. Do you think there is a way I can show him I care and love him? I am worried that it will prevent him from hitting his bottom if I do it wrong - and this is new territory for me. I care deeply for him, but don't want to manipulate to meet my own needs. And when (IF) he comes to me - how do I handle that?